I Had Two Choices: Call My Sponsor or Go to the Liquor Store
Depuis
271 views
Casaundra Hope Baker reached a moment when the choice felt stark: call her sponsor or go to the liquor store. She called her sponsor, and that decision became one of the defining moments of her sobriety.
In this Depuis story, Casaundra speaks openly about growing up inside a restrictive religious environment, becoming a wife and mother very young, surviving abuse, struggling with alcohol dependence, and confronting the consequences addiction had on both her life and her children.
But this conversation does not end with getting sober.
Casaundra shares what happened when all the feelings she had spent years numbing began to return. She talks about radical honesty, self-forgiveness, reconnecting with her body, becoming the mother she wanted to be, and examining the stories and meanings she had carried about who she was.
Over time, she began to understand that she could hold the truth of what happened to her, the truth of choices she regretted, and the possibility of loving herself at the same time.
Today, she describes love differently too: not something she accidentally falls into, but something she intentionally steps into.
Thank you, Casaundra Hope Baker (@CasaundraHope), for sharing your story in your own words.
Subscribe to Depuis for one woman. One story. Every Wednesday.
ABOUT DEPUIS
Depuis is a global women’s storytelling movement and living archive of honest, first-person stories. Women across generations and cultures share their lives in their own words and on their own terms, without being judged or turned into spectacle. By honoring each story as it is, Depuis helps more women feel seen, heard, understood, and less alone.
Safe to share. Sacred to tell.
CONNECT
Casaundra YouTube: @CasaundraHope
Casaundra Instagram: @casaundrahope
Depuis on Instagram: Instagram: voicesofdepuis
Depuis on TikTok: TikTok: voices.of.depuis
Depuis website: https://depuis.org
CHAPTERS
00:00 — The crossroads
00:48 — Childhood and religious upbringing
03:41 — Seeking attention and early sexual abuse
06:57 — Meeting the father of her children
08:43 — The future she believed was available to women
10:15 — Disfellowshipping and losing her community
11:34 — Married at sixteen
12:23 — When the marriage became abusive
13:34 — Leaving and starting over
15:27 — The patterns that followed her
18:21 — Alcohol as a way to numb
20:49 — Asking for help
22:36 — Her last drink
23:44 — Rebuilding her children’s trust
24:13 — Learning what her daughters had endured
31:00 — Back at the refrigerator
32:48 — Choosing healing, not only sobriety
35:18 — Radical honesty
38:23 — Learning to forgive and love herself
39:23 — Returning to her body and feelings
41:09 — Choosing not to shut down again
44:23 — Intentionally stepping into love
46:28 — Changing the meaning of her story
49:13 — The RECLAIM framework
52:43 — A different definition of mastery
CONTENT NOTE
This conversation includes discussion of childhood sexual abuse, domestic abuse, alcohol addiction, sexual violence, abuse involving children, and suicidal thoughts.
#Depuis #SobrietyJourney #RadicalHonesty
1 Comments
I Had Two Choices: Call My Sponsor or Go to the Liquor Store
Depuis
271 views
Casaundra Hope Baker reached a moment when the choice felt stark: call her sponsor or go to the liquor store. She called her sponsor, and that decision became one of the defining moments of her sobriety.
In this Depuis story, Casaundra speaks openly about growing up inside a restrictive religious environment, becoming a wife and mother very young, surviving abuse, struggling with alcohol dependence, and confronting the consequences addiction had on both her life and her children.
But this conversation does not end with getting sober.
Casaundra shares what happened when all the feelings she had spent years numbing began to return. She talks about radical honesty, self-forgiveness, reconnecting with her body, becoming the mother she wanted to be, and examining the stories and meanings she had carried about who she was.
Over time, she began to understand that she could hold the truth of what happened to her, the truth of choices she regretted, and the possibility of loving herself at the same time.
Today, she describes love differently too: not something she accidentally falls into, but something she intentionally steps into.
Thank you, Casaundra Hope Baker (@CasaundraHope), for sharing your story in your own words.
Subscribe to Depuis for one woman. One story. Every Wednesday.
ABOUT DEPUIS
Depuis is a global women’s storytelling movement and living archive of honest, first-person stories. Women across generations and cultures share their lives in their own words and on their own terms, without being judged or turned into spectacle. By honoring each story as it is, Depuis helps more women feel seen, heard, understood, and less alone.
Safe to share. Sacred to tell.
CONNECT
Casaundra YouTube: @CasaundraHope
Casaundra Instagram: @casaundrahope
Depuis on Instagram: Instagram: voicesofdepuis
Depuis on TikTok: TikTok: voices.of.depuis
Depuis website: https://depuis.org
CHAPTERS
00:00 — The crossroads
00:48 — Childhood and religious upbringing
03:41 — Seeking attention and early sexual abuse
06:57 — Meeting the father of her children
08:43 — The future she believed was available to women
10:15 — Disfellowshipping and losing her community
11:34 — Married at sixteen
12:23 — When the marriage became abusive
13:34 — Leaving and starting over
15:27 — The patterns that followed her
18:21 — Alcohol as a way to numb
20:49 — Asking for help
22:36 — Her last drink
23:44 — Rebuilding her children’s trust
24:13 — Learning what her daughters had endured
31:00 — Back at the refrigerator
32:48 — Choosing healing, not only sobriety
35:18 — Radical honesty
38:23 — Learning to forgive and love herself
39:23 — Returning to her body and feelings
41:09 — Choosing not to shut down again
44:23 — Intentionally stepping into love
46:28 — Changing the meaning of her story
49:13 — The RECLAIM framework
52:43 — A different definition of mastery
CONTENT NOTE
This conversation includes discussion of childhood sexual abuse, domestic abuse, alcohol addiction, sexual violence, abuse involving children, and suicidal thoughts.
#Depuis #SobrietyJourney #RadicalHonesty