I'm German and here's my perspective: Friends are people I fully trust. People I'd give a key to my house when on holidays. I feel like friendship in Germany is a much deeper connection than elsewhere. In the US you might call somebody a friend that you shared a beer with, but that's not enough here. As everything else in Germany, friendship is serious business.

When I lived in Germany I found it easier to make friends than in my home country. The secret in Germany is understanding the inclination to belong to clubs associated with a passion. Many Germans are passionate about a hobby/interest, and they are great at forming clubs to share this interest with others. I joined a tennis club and sang in a choir.  The folks I met were very welcoming. And I always spoke German, and accepted help with my German.

I think it's more of a general issue.  When I move to another city as a German, it's not easy for me to find good friends either.

for me the problem lies in the definition of "friend" because I think that there are big differences between German and many other cultures as to what a "friend" and what an "acquaintance" is.
an acquaintance is someone you know, like, and see occasionally, but who is not part of your inner social group. we germans take our time to find out who REALLY is a friend, who is always there for you when you need him.

I have over 50 friends from Germany on Facebook, funny how they totally won't talk or be responsive to me. Most of them follow medieval renaissance concerts and festivals which is my passion, but they still don't seem responsive. Hey! Have you been to Castlefest? No answer, thanks.

Yes, it is hard to make new friends, nobody has waited for you. That is exactly why I joined different clubs, sports, groupes to find new friends in the city I moved to. It will take time an afford and I need to be proactive about it. I’m a German, by the way.

If you think Germany is hard, try Switzerland. 😅

I'm from NY and I was able to make a German friend who was studying abroad here. I was invited to Germany that following summer, and it was the best time of my life.

My friend is from a small city between Osnabrück and Hengelo (NL), and from my perspective, Germans want to get to know you. I will say that it was easier for me due to being good friends with 'one from the group', when he'd take me to the city parties or at the club everyone flocked to me in excitement. I agree that language can be a barrier. For context, I had taken an academic year of German and could have simple conversations, which made it even easier.

When being at the club and trying my best at German, people would literally buy me shots and I kicked off many conversations by just saying "halloooo" - they pick up on the accent and are immediately hooked/intrigued

I got to make many German friends from the local area, and I accidentally penetrated various friend groups. This happened in 2019, and today, I still go visit my friend and his mom and stay in close touch with many of the people that I met. I love Germany!!!

Germans want to get to know foreigners, learn about a different culture. The key is, being able to put yourself out there, learning some of the language and being excited about the culture!

as a german i find it hard to find friends in germany

When someone from sweden tells you its hard to find friends in germany you know you've got a problem 😂

I was raised in America but with my German relatives. They were always instructing me not to talk to people,  that it was improper, to keep my mouth shut, that others would think I was a crazy person. Americans on the other hand turn around in a grocery line and start talking about their recent hysterectomy. It really isn't proper in German culture, to speak with someone unless you've been introduced by a third party. But this makes it hard for Americans to understand why I'm quiet. They see it as aloof, untrusting, boring. Germans don't give you their heart until they trust you.

I think it's cultural shift! The old Germany like from the 80s and 90s it was much easier to make friends! The Germany of today is much more reserved and less social. People are afraid of strangers more

Because you suspect you're getting on other people's nerves?
You make friends when you both realise that you have common interests.
You don't have to come from far away to have no friends, you can do that even if you're a local.

As an Australian woman with a German background I came to Germany when I was 48 to be with my German husband.  His friends were definitely not welcoming to me, and despite that they all learned English in school no-one would make any effort to speak with me in simple German and even add an English word.  At the dreaded ‘Stammtisch’ I would say Gruss Gott on arrival and auf Wiedersehen on departure and if I spoke (in German) I was ignored.  Not a good impression.  My husband said that they were jealous of me…. figure that out!    I had simple German, learned in school and with German speaking relatives so it was not as if I was expecting ‘everyone’ to speak to me in English.    I still leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

Freunde und Bekannte! Ein riesengroßer Unterschied :D

In my last residential area, foreigners never want to have anything to do with Germans and sometimes they slammed the door in my face, although I was always friendly and nice to them!

I think big part of the reason is where you live in Germany. In Berlin we aren't as interested in expats as they are usually just here for not long enough to make it worthwhile. It's why they mostly stay friends with other expats. It makes sense. Long term friendship is the goal for more Germans.  However if you're an immigrant here for the long haul, then let's get to know each other! 🙂

For me I feel comfortable living here, cause no one would care or simply talk, which I'm happy. Because being an introvert, talking to a stranger is least priority.

but I talk only if someone approaches to me. I know a bit deutsch, cause I'm studying as part of my masters in Darmstadt.

Start of with Shopkeepers, go to Döner shops, Aldi, try ordering things in Deutsch

I regularly buy food at mensa, say hallo, order your food in german, get it and say vielen Dank oder Danke oder dankeschön.

also say Tschüss.

I once went to campus connect, I met new people there, I started introducing myself in German, they were really surprised just because it's been a month, I quickly observed and adapted. They saw my efforts in integrating with the culture, thus I was able to talk better.

that's how I gained contacts

Es ist auch regional sehr unterschiedlich. Und auch im Ausland ist es schwierig "echte" Freunde zu finden, in manchen nahezu unmöglich. Engagiere Dich in Vereinen oder Institutionen und du bist dabei. Ich glaube es gibt es nicht mehr so wie es dargestellt wird.

It's hard for older people, period. In any country, everyone's closest friends are usually from when they were children. To make friends, you have to see them often, so you join a club or Verein or hobby group where others share your interests. What else is there - neighbors, if you're lucky; colleagues, maybe; do something where you help others, like teaching a language; but be prepared to invest a bit of time. And don't tell me that in other countries you become friends with random acquaintances at a snap of a finger.