Alright pinning a comment because there have been some pretty fucked up things said about my take on the first story. Specifically about how I thought it was a bit much for sending the messages to his fiance. "I can only be dissapointed but I can't fault him for it." Is what I said. I'm more in favor on taking the high road on things in circumstances like this because I'm speaking from experience. I very much understand though that many of you feel as though the fiance should know. Which is why I couldnt fault OP for his actions, because I understand. Even with that, I can understand disagreeing with my take, but saying that I DESERVED what happened to me over the last 4 years because of that comment I made? Like what in the hell is wrong with some of you all.

I have no problem with being told that you disagree with me on him messaging the fiance, or even being called an idiot. In fact, I have always encouraged disagreement. But what some of yall are saying is heartbreaking. I feel like some of you didn't even finish listening to what I even had to say before leaving the comment.

Edit to add. Most of you have been incredibly respectful voicing your disagreements, and I VERY MUCH appreciate it. It's the few bad apples that spoil the bunch.

Everyone is focusing on the first story but I feel rhat as a whole we aren't appreciating "the fact that i have a motorcycle makes me extra slutty" enough

No. No. NO! Being a teenager does not excuse you for telling your long distance bf they took their own life. That's a complete lack of empathy. And how dare she blame the bf. She could have just blocked him or ghosted him. I'm glad OP sent that to the husband. That is a side he deserved to see.

She didn’t just fake a su!c!de, she BLAMED HIM for her de@th. That wasn’t just cowardice, that was a cruel, evil thing to say based on real resentment. She could have easily driven him to his own guilt ridden demise. I’ve changed since I was a teen (34 now) but a lot of me is still the same. If she was capable of that cruelty then and never felt the need to come clean until a decade later when her conscience made a quiet peep from the cage she keeps it in, I don’t believe she’s incapable of something so cruel again.

It's especially fucked up that the sister told OP "you weren't there for her when she needed you"
Faking a death to get out of a relationship is crazy.. But then this little bit is just gonna ad a lot of guilt for him. Wtf

First story: they could think of suicide as an explanation for ghosting but not that that might push the recipient of the news over that exact edge? After blaming him? That's evil.

ETA typo

I think one of the reasons I disagree with oz’s take on the first story is the fact that the sister blamed op for the suicide, saying that it was because he wasn’t there for her, and them trying to get him to come to California for a fake funeral. They had plans outside of just leaving his life. They wanted him to suffer. The fiancé deserves to know who he is marrying. Ultimately yes the high road is always best, but we shouldn’t be disappointed when someone takes a lower road as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone to severely

The suicide one is insane, and she shouldn't get a pass for it because it's something she did as a teenager.

The Fiance needed to know, and while I'm not convinced OP didn't do it partially just in an attempt to sabotage her relationship, at the end of the day, it's doubtful the Fiance knows about this, and it's something he NEEDS to know going forward.

Story 1: Does anyone else think that the reason she fessed up is because she was in town and worried about him or his family seeing her? lol

Story 1: I think the most striking subtle thing about this story is the fact that North ended the message going "hopefully one day you'll forgive me". Jerk just wanted to feel better about herself

There is no world in which OP1 is wrong for sending the messages to the fiance. That's a huge chunk of information about someone's character that you should ABSOLUTELY  know before marrying them.

First story: Yes, she was an immature teenager, but she didn’t just ghost him. A cowards way out was to block him out of her life, telling him it was suicide was cruel. Telling him it was his fault is vindictive. And she absolutely apologized just because she wanted to get rid of her guilty conscience before she got married. All she did was explain what she did and why she did but didn’t explain how it made him probably feel. A proper apology would acknowledge how it probably effect him before he had to explain it himself. And OP shouldn’t have to accept that apology.

Tricking someone into thinking you died is probably one of the most disgusting and cruel things you can do to someone. Absolutely deplorable.

Someone did this to me on kik as well. That app was a fucking hellhole.

Something that bugs me about the first story is how little thought the exgirlfriend put into the ramifications of her claim.

What if OP came to Chicago for her “funeral” what if they texted her parents, and worst of all, what if they did end their life. She never took that step back to think about the bigger picture, even if she was “just a dumb teenager” she maintained that lack of insight for years. Also like many people in the comments are saying; she never once in those 8 years decided to come clean.
Another note: the friend request on Facebook. Why would have all the ways to reach out, would she decide to leave a spontaneous friend request on social media? On an account that showed off her life and how happy she was? And leave OP to text first?? Like it just is another level of wtf that shows she may not realize the impact of what she’s done and how this could seem from OP’s perspective. Obviously it wouldn’t be as easy to text his number from high school like “wazzup I’m alive”, but just friending him and not really giving an initial apology or explanation feels shallow.

Good on OP for letting her Fiancé, he deserved to know what he is getting into. I hope OP is doing great now

Edit: sorry if things are a bit messy, I’m tired and typing on my phone

Imagine if the fiancée found out say another 10-15 years from now. It’d ruin her marriage and devastate her life more.  Fiancée needed to know now.

I get what you mean, Oz. But as the OP said, if she actually regretted it, she'd have reached out sooner and her apology would have been better, and I think that says a lot about her current character too, and I think her fiancé deserves to know what kind of person he's getting with. It wasn't the mature thing to do, but given the feelings involved, I really can't blame OP.

I have to disagree on the first story about how it was wrong to message the fiancée. He needs to know who he's marrying, ESPECIALLY if there's a kid involved. That level of emotional manipulation and psychological abuse is definitely something you would want to know about before being in a relationship which can give someone a lot of power over you and over your child. If this person has actually changed for the better, the fiancée should already know and that conversation should be easy. But if they haven't changed, it's better that the fiancée knows

Story 1: Honestly, I can't see how he's wrong for forwarding the messages to her fiancée. If she was able to come up with such a hurtful, twisted "plan"- as opposed to simply breaking up, while a teen, there's no telling what she might do to the fiancée as an adult.

It gives the other guy a heads-up, a chance to avoid the same- if not worse, kind of hurt that the OP went through.

Story 1 im so glad OP forwarded those texts to the dude. He needs a heads up to the psycho behavior. If the other dude knows about it and still wants to be with her, no big deal. If she kept this a secret, he deserves a warning. I'd want to be warned.

First story so beyond evil. Knowing my state of mind in highschool, I would have ended it, I’m glad he chose to live and I really hope he can find the healing he needs