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A melee-only challenge spirals into glorious disaster as Trevor, Michael, and Franklin attempt missions like Military Hardware, The Paleto Score, Derailed, Monkey Business, and Bury the Hatchet without relying on guns. Between rubber-banding convoys, despawn juggling, helicopter “melee,” pixel-perfect cliff climbs, cop-lured Buzzard takedowns, and a golf-club meta that swings between instant KOs and total whiffs, the run becomes a tour of GTA 5’s jank and old pacifist strats. Crowbar scavenger hunts, ALT-strat escapes, first-person melee experiments, and a late-game levitation skip keep the chaos moving. It’s equal parts speedrun problem-solving and comedic suffering—proof that Los Santos becomes a different game when every fight is fists, knives, or a very unreliable nine-iron.

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