Do you think the issue is that people's expectations of marriage change over time, or that people just stop communicating what they actually need?

I was married 45 yrs when my husband passed away. My menopause lasted 15 difficult years. In the last two years, I have found myself again and peace.

The 3 reasons for gray divorce is pre-menopause, menopause and post menopause and the codependent behavior thats come with it. The 3 menopausal stages can last 15 to 20 years, which is just too long for a man to put up with so men quiet quit the relationship till she becomes just a roommate and files for divorce. At this point it happens so often I think it is just a natural developmental state for men to let go of the marriage.

Blaming menopause is easy and puts the onus on the woman - as always.
For me, it was his unwillingness to compromise so I get what I want, and not just him getting everything he wants, and 2) I became unwilling to put up with his lies any longer.  I learned to respect myself enough to expect compromise and honesty.

Alexandra, has clearly stated that marriage vows are meaningless. My problem is how I explain this to my 3 sons.

In older divorce if you get date, you ask if like bedroom to found out if want to keep on dating.

There is no any reason to not initiate talk and try to explain situation before get to the bottom but instead most quitters are throwing accusations, disrespect and contempt for years towards long life partners. We are where we are now but I am mostly curious about post divorce reality check. How all this woman fairing after ,,reclaiming “ freedom. Are they more mentally stable or living in peace with themselves?
Smart people learn on somebody’s else’s mistakes and choose what is reasonable choice.
John

How we feel at the time.
"I need!"
There can always be an excuse or a rationale for divorce.
I can break a promise or vow based on how I feel at a different time.
Well, that is conveinient!
Are the words I say just what I have to say in order to get what I want at the time?
Oaths of office?
Wedding vows?
Trust is based on what?

I needed to hear this today. I'm 52, initiating the divorce and couldn't be happier. Time to move on from the toddler husband. I'm glad I'm not alone in being "the hub" of everyone else's life.

I've seen a few couples go through this. The men have seemed to thrive afterwards. The women not so much. Get over yourself and realize that men make just as many if not more sacrifices in their lives. I'll call it the spoiled woman syndrome. We spoiled them there whole lives which is our fault. Then we're surprised when they decide they come first   and we come last and pretty much have all our married lives.

A coach is not a therapist. A coach is not a doctor. A coach has never been to medical school. he a coach applies any sort of medical advice stating it isn't when is... Felony.

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Menopause can be a big part in grey divorce but I do not blame women for this. They are not getting the right help from doctors.

My wife had a total hysterectomy and the impact on her from the hormonal changes was profound and changed her personality.

There is no doubt that some women suffer terribly with physical and mental changes caused by a massive shock to their hormonal balance.

The loss of libido, irritability, insomnia, anxiety and depression can be overwhelming and put even the most solid relationships under strain and lead to severe emotional disconnection.

I understand the urge to run away to escape the living hell and that putting the blame on a husband and the marriage for their unhappiness often happens.

It may be that quitting the marriage is the right thing to do,but I feel it is very sad that many marriages are being lost which could have been saved with help.

I wasn’t a perfect husband and had my own issues but I showed up for my wife but in the end it wasn’t enough.

Was it all down to menopause? No. People do change and grow apart. In my case, I found the communication that was needed to make things better impossible because my wife had already made up her mind to leave and shut down any attempts by me to help us understand how we got to where we were.

I hope she finds the happiness she is looking for nonetheless.

In older date she will hate the bedroom upfront so good luck.

Hell in time wants out of wedding.

Hmm, what do men give up?

Yes on out voted on your own life ❤

Rubbish. You say that the wife “holds up” the entire family. My ex wife just sat around the house the entire day doing absolutely nothing for the family.

Hormones!!!

Poor women who listen and follow your advice … 😏