I was a whistleblower many years ago and the woman who had committed the crime had a lovely soft voice. I remember the lawyer leaned down to my ear and we entered the meeting. Interrupt her politely, he whispered. Because if you let her condemn you in the sweet voice, you are truly F*****. I did as he suggested and eventually that lovely voice turned dark and harsh and everyone in the room seemed to shake themselves and come out of a dream scowling at her. I’ve never seen anything like it.  But you should know, I still lost my career and she did not, but a year later she quit because no one left behind ever trusted her again. Gently, quietly and persistently interrupt the voice.

A cool detail about Gimli being the one to break the silence after Saruman first speaks to Theoden is that dwarves are naturally more resistant to magic than other folk.

Apologizing for reading large quantities of Tolkien's text is like apologizing for giving someone too much gold and silver.

Forgiveness is for your own benefit, it does not entitle your abuser to renewed trust or second chances 😊

How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?  Zero, they use gas light!

"Suddenly another voice spoke, low and melodious,..."   Aaaand that's why Jackson forced Christopher Lee to play Saruman instead of Gandalf.

The worst part of the kind of narcissist who gaslights is that they go from a bullying abuser and immediately play the victim card claiming your just reaction to their insult is offensive. They most often will never admit they are wrong and for this reason they will never learn or change. This is why they remain as immature like children.

Some of us have an internal Saruman. We become spellbound by the interior voice, seemimg reasonable,  actually poison.  Hearing my own voice of Saruman gaslight me, understanding that I can 'not listen' and break the spell,  has improved my life. Thanks for your essays!

Confession: When I first read this passage, so great was Tolkien's writing, that I too was caught for a moment by Saruman's words. The breaking of that spell was a deep lesson that has protected me from many Sarumans since.

Another fantastic chapter! I love those creepy moments when Saruman's friendly mask slips, and we can his true malice underneath. Also, Gandalf's line about "He who has escaped by the roof will think twice before he comes back in by the door" is a classic!

Deny: The perpetrator denies that the abuse or offense occurred, or denies responsibility for their actions.
2. Attack: They then attack the victim's credibility, character, or memory, often accusing them of lying, being overly sensitive, or being the one in the wrong.
3. Reverse Victim and Offender: The perpetrator claims they are actually the victim, painting themselves as being unfairly targeted, mistreated, or abused by the person they are harming.

I first read the Ring Trilogy in the early 70s when I was in high school. I was mesmerized by the story and characters and beautiful prose. I revisited the series when I was in my mid 40s and appreciated the command of language at a very different level than my younger self. Having just discovered this essay, I am urged at age 70 to go back once again to the source and see what it has to say to today's world. People who only know Tolkien through the movies have missed the power of language in a book that a fantasy action film struggles to capture.

Thanks, I am so over people thinking they sound smart saying the word gaslighting every time they actually mean lying.  Gaslighting is deception, but a very specific kind of deception, not all lies are gaslighting.

You are perhaps the FIRST person I've encountered who feels the FULL POWER and depth of this encounter.  Tolkien wasn't just a writer and scholar...but also an extraordinarily  insightful psychologist here.  This interplay between manipulation and magic...and how magic isn't even required to wield these dark powers over the minds and hearts of those falling under the psychological spell of the manipulator is jaw-droopingly clear.  Just a masterpiece of insight, demonstrated within the deeply developed characters Tolkien brings to like in both strength and weakness...vulnerability and strength. Bravo.

I always thought that it was Tolkien's mistake to write Saruman talking to Theoden, failing, butthurting, then switching to sweet mode again, now for Gandalf. It feels like crouching again right after being detected in Skyrim - it should not work. Surely one shall  not let the next victim and the public see their fail at attempting to lie! But now I wonder how often IRL the gaslighters are successful at pulling that trick out. It is likely that Tolkien knew people better than I do.

Don't apologize for these being long essays.  The text is deep enough to warrant it, and more besides.

One thing I disagree on. If you're dealing with a narcissist, and they think the best way to claim power over you again is to take some "redemption" you offer them, they will seem to take it, but they do this as a tactic, and a way to bide their time so they can weave another spell over you. When dealing with a narcissist, the best thing to do is to cut off contact.

I read a story of someone who tried to use his voice to control another, saying "sit down, I have not finished speaking." The woman he addressed calmly said " but I have finished listening." She was confident in her own authority as well as that of her position (not always the same thing).

It's one thing to listen to psychologists and negotiators describe how to recognize and deflect manipulation when the manipulated only has their own experiences to compare the advice to. In my experience, when I compared and contrasted my experiences against what the experts said, I still heard in my head "It's still your fault. You weren't enough. Your memory is faulty, you know."  It's another thing entirely when there is an excellent, fictional example to compare the advice to. This video made what I've studied this year finally click in my head. Thank you. I bought physical copies of the LOTR and Hobbit books because of this channel so I can finally read these masterpieces. Thank you and take care.

This might be one of Bernard Hill's most underatted performances in the film.

For a brief moment he seems swayed by Saruman's words, but then the venom of his response comes forth as he recalls all the wrongs Saruman has done to him and his people and even a little repulsion at the familiar feeling of being lulled again by his words, even briefly.

RIP Mr Hill