When someone is dying, if they are diabetic or an alcoholic, and ask for a candy bar or a drink, give it to them.  The smiles are worth it. The candy bar or drink did not kill them.

Life is not knowing what might happen tomorrow.
Watching this video reminds me of what I want to say to my people. I should write it down in advance.
I usually forget about it, but seeing videos like this makes me realize how necessary this service is. A place to store my heart. Sevnal

When my mom was dying, I put my kids on speakerphone so they could talk to her. I think it upset them a little bit, but it also gave them a chance to say goodbye. 😢

Thank you for this video. My husband just entered hospice and I realize now that he’s been in the process for a couple of months already. So helpful. I feel better equipped to handle this now.

Thanks for this. The parallel of death to childbirth is helpful and makes a lot of sense

Thank you - for reassuring me of what I am trying to do.  Thank you.

PS. I am sitting with my dying Dad.

My husband has been gone for one year now and I have just come across this video. The main reason I am responding to this is because you say to be there till the end. At 1:00 A.M. I couldn’t stay awake anymore. I was sitting next to his bed from hospice in the front room and he yelled help. I told him I was right here and he said I know. After a few minutes I got up and gave him his medicine and told him I just need to go lay down for a bit, then I’ll be back. I forgot to mention he had double pneumonia along with his multiple body cancer. I made sure his oxygen tube was in his nostrils and went to lay down. When I came back, I slowly came in the room and yes he was gone. He had pulled his oxygen from his nose, his mouth was slightly open and his skin was darker. I was devastated because I thought he had more time. I told his doctor all this and he said some people wait till your out of sight before they die. They want to die alone. Thank God he told me this, otherwise I would have carried the regret of not saying goodbye to him . So everyone has the right to die in their own way. His sister blames me for not letting her see him one last time, but he had enough of her medaling and refused to talk to her. I won’t be hearing from her again and that’s fine with me.

Thank you both so much for this thoughtful and insightful conversation. You’re not just helping caregivers and those navigating end-of-life experiences—you’re serving as role models for healthy womanhood. Watching you both engage with such humility, honesty, and openness is a powerful example of wisdom in action. It’s inspiring to see women living their purpose while continuing to learn and grow. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and for the important work you’re doing!

Thank you, this gave me a lot of comfort now that i’m grieving my mom who i lost almost a week ago. I really appreciate that your tone is so kind and that you also share personal experiences. It just highlights that noone can go through life without loss and i condider myself lucky to have had such great love from and for my mom and to have been at her side also at the very end❤

The body knows how to live and it knows how to die.

My husband died two days ago. I saw his last breath, he went peaceful. I am going threw so many emotions.

My dad died 3 weeks ago. He had dementia but was still going to Dr appts. He was under palliative care for 6 months. He fell June 15. Scraped his arm. Urgent care nurse told me to have hospice come soon. So I called. They came next day. Dad must’ve untamed went and slumped under the big oak tree. Hubby helped him up. My daughter was married June 7 and during the festivities dad was very quiet. Not eating.  That’s when I noticed his eating changed. No longer wanting his egg muffins.
Once dad was in the chair hubby put by oak tree he was trying to hear the music from workers truck. Highwaymen. He said “shut up I’m trying to hear.”  Only blurted understandable words otherwise for a week he was not understandable. Seems he had a stroke to us. Couldn’t hold his coffee or even cigarette. Had his last one under that tree. Next day took him to the planned five day respite at the hospice care center. I’ll never forgive myself. As we walked in he veered to left and I said where you going? He said, “ to the street”. Once in he sorta knew.  He was the smartest man I’ve ever known. I explained he was there for just a couple days and I’d be back. The next morning I called and they said he had to be medicated for agitation. According to nurses he was sitting at front desk being as cordial as he could. Crossed his legs.  Listening to them. Trying to carry a convo but couldn’t. Then I guess he tried going in other rooms. I don’t know what happened. I got there by 10 am and he was never to speak or answer again. I brought his dog. He petted him. I played highway men and other country songs he liked. His brother drove to Fl and his sister came. My sister flew from Az as she had planned to go w me to pick him up on Sunday Father’s Day and I was hoping she would see how he was. My brother drove from Indiana and got there Saturday morning.  By noon he took his last breath. Three nights he was there. I will always wonder if he was medicated to die. He couldn’t handle anything but a baby aspirin. I asked for video of the hall that first night. No can do.  I will always feel I brought him to die. I loved him so much. He had caught a cold after all the kids left after wedding as well. I don’t know if that did him in but the congestion and not being able to cough all drugged up makes me think that is what did it. He was visioning and pointing.  I have videos. Maybe I just didn’t want to see it. I’ll never know

This has helped me so much! And I’m calmer knowing all these things are normal for my dying baby sister from end stage liver disease!

Thanks Barbaba for your teaching and sharing the dying knowledge. I got two of your books (The Eleventh Hour and Gone From My Sight) through Kaiser years ago when my dad was drying. The books were extremely helpful. It helped me go through the most difficult time. A million thanks for your help.

I have been experiencing what I now know is anticipatory grief since my mom was first diagnosed with her lung cancer a year and a half ago. We have just started hospice and the next phase of the journey has begun. 💔💔💔

💕🌸💕 thank you so much for sharing this very interesting  work. I am a caregiver now, but I would like to start working in the hospice field.💕🌸💕

I enjoyed this so helpful. I wish I would have heard this a year ago. Thank you🙏

My dad had multiple strokes so the doctor said. He was on life support for 11 days...the last time i seen him he wasn't sedated but on the machine and he would turn his head from side to side and stretch his arms out in front of him. I don't know why but I've always thought he was trying to get up or wanted off the machine. We were just watching him suffer those last days. He was DNR but still ended up on the machine when that wasn't what he wanted. He was only 67. At first i prayed for God to fix his heart but that last day when i left, in the elevator i told God if this was all that was left is suffering please just take him home. He died just a few hours later.😭

Very helpful.  Thank-you.

🦋 thank you for your work