Meet the Parts of You Fighting Over Your Marriage (IFS for Parents)
Rabbit Den Psychotherapy
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You know your marriage needs attention. You've read that connection is built through small, repeated moments, not big gestures. And still — weeks go by where you and your partner haven't exchanged a sentence that wasn't a request or a directive.
It's not that you don't care. Something else is going on, underneath the calendar.
📖 Read the full breakdown: https://rabbitdenpsychotherapy.com/pa...
I'm Noe, a psychotherapist, and in this video I use a model called Internal Family Systems (IFS) to make sense of this bind. IFS starts from the idea that your mind isn't one unified voice — it's a system of parts, each with its own job. A part fiercely protective of your kids. A part that still remembers falling in love with your partner. A part just trying to keep the house from falling apart.
None of these parts are wrong. The trouble starts when two of them want opposite things, and neither is willing to stand down — because each one is genuinely afraid of what happens if it does.
1️⃣ The eight parts I see most often in parents torn between their kids and their marriage — the Liberator, the Self-Abnegator, the Advocate, the Household Manager, the Sentinel, the Good Partner, the Lover, and the One Who Fears the End
2️⃣ Why you can't resolve this by picking a side
3️⃣ A two-part journaling exercise for getting those parts talking to each other — maybe for the first time in a while
This builds directly on the last video, on why the Gottmans' 5.5 hours a week is so hard to actually schedule in — watch that one here if you haven't: Marriage Feels Like Roommates - The Schedu...
💬 Want support with this in your own relationship? That's what I do at Rabbit Den Psychotherapy — couples work informed by the Gottman Method and Internal Family Systems: https://rabbitdenpsychotherapy.com/co...
If this landed for you, subscribe — I post every few weeks on relationships, nervous systems, and the parts of us that get in our own way.
Which part did you recognize? Tell me in the comments — I read every one.
#InternalFamilySystems #IFS #CouplesTherapy #Marriage #Parenting #RelationshipAdvice #GottmanMethod #NervousSystemRegulation
1 Comments
Meet the Parts of You Fighting Over Your Marriage (IFS for Parents)
Rabbit Den Psychotherapy
23 views
You know your marriage needs attention. You've read that connection is built through small, repeated moments, not big gestures. And still — weeks go by where you and your partner haven't exchanged a sentence that wasn't a request or a directive.
It's not that you don't care. Something else is going on, underneath the calendar.
📖 Read the full breakdown: https://rabbitdenpsychotherapy.com/pa...
I'm Noe, a psychotherapist, and in this video I use a model called Internal Family Systems (IFS) to make sense of this bind. IFS starts from the idea that your mind isn't one unified voice — it's a system of parts, each with its own job. A part fiercely protective of your kids. A part that still remembers falling in love with your partner. A part just trying to keep the house from falling apart.
None of these parts are wrong. The trouble starts when two of them want opposite things, and neither is willing to stand down — because each one is genuinely afraid of what happens if it does.
1️⃣ The eight parts I see most often in parents torn between their kids and their marriage — the Liberator, the Self-Abnegator, the Advocate, the Household Manager, the Sentinel, the Good Partner, the Lover, and the One Who Fears the End
2️⃣ Why you can't resolve this by picking a side
3️⃣ A two-part journaling exercise for getting those parts talking to each other — maybe for the first time in a while
This builds directly on the last video, on why the Gottmans' 5.5 hours a week is so hard to actually schedule in — watch that one here if you haven't: Marriage Feels Like Roommates - The Schedu...
💬 Want support with this in your own relationship? That's what I do at Rabbit Den Psychotherapy — couples work informed by the Gottman Method and Internal Family Systems: https://rabbitdenpsychotherapy.com/co...
If this landed for you, subscribe — I post every few weeks on relationships, nervous systems, and the parts of us that get in our own way.
Which part did you recognize? Tell me in the comments — I read every one.
#InternalFamilySystems #IFS #CouplesTherapy #Marriage #Parenting #RelationshipAdvice #GottmanMethod #NervousSystemRegulation
Full post, with all eight parts and the two-part journaling exercise: https://rabbitdenpsychotherapy.com/parts-of-you-fighting-over-your-marriage/