harry becoming the cop who peaked in high school tracks tbh

I like that a fairly descent amount of Harry Potter can be boiled down to "Hey... Buddy. You're not who you came from or where you grew up. You're your own unique person.😊

THAT GUY, however...🤨"

Pumpkin Pasty Georg, who lives in the engine room of the Hogwarts Express and eats over 3000 per trip, is an outlier and shouldn't be counted.

I still cannot believe they made Ebony Dementia Way canon

The idea that Hermione and Harry, both knowing full well what happened to Sirius, are not working overtime at the ministry to shut down the mega-torture-hell-prison is making me lose all respect for them as characters…

I would have expected normal Hermione to destroy the new Time Turner immediately, or to send it to be studied under extremely high security.  She knows firsthand how messy and stressful time-traveling a few hours is!  All she would have to think about is the damage she, Harry, and Ron could’ve done with it and she would know it’s got to be on lockdown.

I love how the Ministry becomes MORE corrupt after Voldemort was defeated.

My elf is making me sandwich to eat while I watch this video 🔥🔥🔥

I remember when this play came out it was before she went fully mask off with her  transphobia and all over ao3 were fics with tags like "NOT COMPLIANT WITH CURSED CHILD" and "CURSED CHILD NON COMPLIANT" and people making jokes in fics where one character says "Hey what if [insert plot point from Cursed Child]" and another character replies with "No that sounds fucking stupid"

You know what would have been a great cursed child? Hermione takes over as minister and immediately begins implementing much-needed reforms. Amortentia is outlawed, along with many other horrific types of magic. Slavery is outlawed. Other magical creatures are given full rights. The economy is modernized. Education includes practical muggle skills like math and reading not just spells. But being Hermione, she rules like a bookish technocrat. She doesn’t play by the rules and she has little patience for illogical opposition. She has the full support of several prominent figures of the second wizarding war, namely Harry and is a war hero herself.
Therein lies the conflict. As a muggle born she comes in and confirms the worst fears of the pure blooded factions: that muggles would dilute wizarding power and culture. That muggle thought would take over their society. She’s viewed as an Umbridge-like figure by many of the youth, even though her reforms make much more sense. The play could become a wider analysis of progress over tradition, if you can reform a broken society. More importantly it would have meta critique of what made Harry Potter popular vs what makes sense in world building. And of would have some sappy ending about some middle path solution.

Delphini Riddle genuinely reads like the Mary-Sue from a middle-schooler's first attempt at fanfic. "She's Voldemort and Bellatrix's daughter and she has cool silver hair because she's really powerful and the plan is for her to go back in time and make Voldemort win!"
Except it's even worse because most of those fanfic writers would have their Mary-Sue not want to bring her father back and angst about her horrible destiny while the canon characters sympathize with and coddle her, which is cringe but at least it makes an argument that being the child of a bad person doesn't make you automatically bad as well!

Voldemort Day is hands down the funniest concept in the whole book. When I read that phrase I couldn’t stop laughing.

The funniest thing about the "Being a Slytherin doesnt automatically make you evil!" thing JK tried to pull, during the battle of Hogwarts she explains that the Slytherine children are given a chance to either help out or lock themselves in the dungeon and then specifically says that NONE of them chose to help. She had a perfect moment to show, not tell, that some Slytherines are good and instead just doesnt.

Having someone say, “A Malfoy who’s a Riddle” would have been so much better. Not because it’s a great line, but it at least has the merit of having a double meaning.

Sometimes fiction created by spite can be beautiful. But not when the spite is directed at your own readers. This play/book/thing exists because Rowling got sick and tired of being asked "Why didn't they use time turners to save Cedric?" and decided the answer wasn't "that's not how time turners work" but "saving Cedric is the morally incorrect thing to do."

I think it's so hilariously stupid that Voldemort had offspring, because he's such a generic Big Bad that I can't imagine him do normal human things like eating food or go to the bathroom, much less have sex.

I thought the idea of putting harry's son in slytherin was a fun choice but they spend so long going "wouldnt it be fucked up if you were in slytherin" that you already know whats going on

18:58 I think what really annoys me about this is McGonagall's response, because the McGonagall I remember would have told Harry to fuck off with that bullshit. She had absolutely zero patience for the Ministry trying to interfere at Hogwarts.

if I wanted a genuinely entertaining time-turner what-if stage production, I'd just rewatch A Very Potter Sequel. like.

Honestly, this story feels like a borderline-My-Immortal-level fanfic.