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Maybe It's Perimenopause. Maybe I Want a Different Life.

Rachel Hollis

17,647 views

Am I having a midlife crisis? Is it perimenopause? Or am I finally admitting that some parts of my life aren’t working for me anymore?

In this vlog/podcast, I’m talking about feeling stuck in my 40s and the experiment I’m trying: doing the opposite in the areas where my usual approach isn’t getting me anywhere.

Instead of blowing up my entire life (or getting a bob 🤣) I want to get curious. Try something different. Figure out what actually feels good to the woman I am now, rather than keep doing what made sense for me ten years ago.

I don’t have it all figured out, but I’m bringing you along while I work on it.

Have you been feeling this too? Tell me in the comments what part of your life you’re ready to approach differently. I’d love to hear. 💛

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20 Comments

@JCline-o5f4l 2 days ago

We love your ability to (bravely) articulate what a lot of us are experiencing ❤

@fearlessmakeup9350 2 days ago

What we love about you Rachel is your honesty. We have all struggled with those things that you have talked about and we aren’t a public figure the way you are. The box that you were put in as advisor is a way to sell you and your products. The reality for those that listen to you is that you are just reflecting what we all go through with a voice that we don’t all have. I see you more as a friend that says “hey, I just went through this, don’t do what I did.” As opposed to listen to what I say and your life will be great. Keep being you, raw, honest and real Rachel and know that you don’t need to be perfect to sell yourself to us.

@chrissykohut5693 1 day ago

Oh Rachel, CONGRATULATIONS! You have hit your next level of evolving to the newest version of yourself. The reason those things aren't working for you anymore is because you are no longer that woman. This wasn't the first time you have evolved and it won't be the last time. Each time you find yourself in a space where things aren't working it just means you are growing. Give yourself some grace. You literally moved time zones. What once was in your life no longer is. And yes as we age we need to find new ways to self-care. Self-care is my jam and my life's work. I just turned 55, I can tell you with completely honesty you can never stop working on yourself. Life will life. Your body will change. Your friends will change. Your family will change. You will figure it out. You always do. I'd be happy to share with you what has worked for me, if you are ever interested. Keep sharing, we are rooting for you.

@elizabethl2092 1 day ago

Yep. I’m 46 and everything is different. Over the last couple of years I would literally say to my husband and friends “I know it sounds crazy, but it’s like I want to burn it all down and start over.” 🤣

@smd8226 1 day ago

It all changes in perimenopause. You are not alone sister!

@yvonnezamora7345 1 day ago

Rachel, I just want to let you know that I REALLY enjoy your podcast lately. Because they r so raw and real. I don’t really care for the guru interviews. It doesn’t appeal to me, what I love about you is the way you approach life & your process, like this episode. Please don’t stop sharing these types of episodes.

@AmandaODell-m8g 2 days ago

I appreciate this so much. I hope you know that all of us who love who you are and what you do WANT this honesty. These are our favorite Rachel moments. I turned 40 in June and I thought I was losing my mind. Should we move? Should we build a house? Should we buy an RV and travel the world and work the land? Absolutely not. I need air conditioning. But you get it, obviously. I look forward to this experiment. I'll be with you all the way. ❤️

@saprwful 1 day ago

What an excellent episode!! ❤ Thank you so much for being vulnerable and showing us that we are not alone. Peace, blessings and love!!

@curiositystoryer 2 days ago (edited)

Yeah, it resonates. No spouse, no kids here, but please don't think that means no obligation or responsibility to others. In my experience, it means very much the opposite. The expectation and snark and treatment I got from others who felt my free time meant it belonged to them, is no joke. There is so much pressure to give away every moment that belongs to me just because I made a different life choice. And I did so with intention because I knew there was childhood ptsd that needed healing and I did not want to raise a child before that. I remember Oprah saying that about her 40's and I always interpreted that not as the 40's being so fun and amazing, but being in a place where you're not apologizing for who you are anymore. Wishing you the best.

@mauniep6456 1 day ago

I’m right there with you. I’m 52. I decided to go all the way back to the basics: drinking my water, meditating, clearing all of my clutter, etc.. I had no energy for anything else. I slowly started feeling like myself again.

@cathlenaconrad3809 1 day ago

I am 100% right there with you! I am 41 and have been a school teacher since I was 23 years old. But I feel like I am now at a crossroads trying to decide if this is the path I am meant to continue on, or am I ready to take a risk and find the next chapter of my life. The uncertainty has me feeling stuck and stressed out; lacking the motivation to keep moving forward when I don't know where forward will lead. Thanks for taking the time to be real with us today. This video was definitely what I needed to hear this evening ❤

@eajeska 1 day ago

This is the most real and sincere thing I've seen online in...heck, I don't even know how. long. And I loved every minute of it. And I appreciate you being vulnerable. I look forward to following this journey with you. I can relate some as a 54 year old post-menopausal mom.

@michellelopez2164 2 days ago

I’m in the middle of watching this episode and loving your honesty and feelings and list. This is exactly what I needed to watch and hear today. ❤. Thank you for being honest about yourself

@rke13-13 2 days ago

This is great! Not that you are struggling with some things but that you are sharing it with us. You are not alone. I'll be 51 in a month and I have been working on a lot of the parts of my life trying to figure things out for the last 5 years. I finally figured out what I want to be outside of being a mom. My health has been improving greatly in the last few years as well. All the rules change when you pass 40.

@victoriawalkuski114 5 hours ago

Oh my gosh Rachel! You are describing how I've been feeling in so many areas lately. My style, my motivation for working out, my side hustle. All of it.
I just hope you are giving yourself grace. You deserve it. You are in a different place in life now and this is a whole new you. She deserves all your love ❤️

@TeresaStreit 1 day ago

First of all, your hair is GORGEOUS in this video. Cut it or don’t, that’s on you, but let’s give it some snaps.
I also love this video because of your transparency to let us in on your thoughts and feels about your own place on the journey.
I also appreciate that you are reframing your relationship with those who consume your messages. Not that I think you should, but because you believe that’s what course correction you believe is needed.
Your autonomy to make your own decisions and share those with us is what I love seeing.
Hugs to you! ❤

@MichelleKimball-y3t 2 days ago

Thanks for being so honest and talking us through what is and isn’t working for you.

@ericaperry2953 1 day ago

I literally can’t tell you how seen I feel from watching this video ❤As someone who has been struggling with severe brain fog for nine months (I’m 44 by the way), I literally wrote in my journal last week: “I’m afraid I’m going to blow up my life!” Thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing!

@shlomokovalenko1839 1 day ago (edited)

I’m not in my 40’s Rach, and certainly not a woman navigating menopause.. but loved this brutally honest conversation! I felt heard without talking to you. Loved, without receiving a hug from you. And so deeply understood, while you were skimming the surface of your utterly hazy reality. ❤❤❤
And also, so sorry for you that you’re going through all this.. But I know that you got this! I love you, and I’m rooting for you🤟

@craiglawson6202 23 hours ago

Commenting from my husbands account so not some strange man weighing in on this 😂
I absolutely feel this,the burn it all down! I moved away from a place I loved because I was bored and restless, I moved on from friendships, it didn’t help. I crave buying a camper and hitting the road, to simplify, to not feel the burden of responsibility. It is the freedom I crave after being a Mum and wife and living so much for others for more than half my life. Being responsible for everyone is taxing, the mental and emotional load is exhausting. Our 40’s, I think, are like a rebirth, showing us all the things that are no longer serving us (or perhaps never did), then like a caterpillar fully dissolving in order to become a magnificent butterfly 🦋 Decorate the house even if you do it again later, build the veggie patch, embrace your Martha era. Take us on the journey.