Me kicking my feet excited for you to see what I made

its a shame that analog horror has devolved into creatures that can only be described as minecraft endermen. Local 58 was so powerful and creative

daughter: “DAD THERES AN 8 FOOT TALL GUY OUTSIDE”
dad: “dont worry honey we’re american!” *unloads 7 rounds od ak-47 in 2 secs*

Honestly the "consider praying" part was scary in a way cuz its literally the only option you have, not "oh yeah grab a gun and shoot the entity!!" Like it was just "theres no hope, so start praying". Idk, but that was spooky

I’ve been stuck in The Dog for 397 days now, please let me out. 😔

If you dont follow these steps... cutely pauses ... YOU WILL BE TRAPPED IN THE MEZOZOIC ERA FOREVAAAA

In my area, there was an eas that went out that said “do not approach the man. Call the police” and I was home alone at the time and it was terrifying it turned out it was an error, but yikes.

Dude don’t worry the Mesozoic era is lowkey chill they have cookouts and stuff, best rip in space time I’ve ever experienced. 10/10 would recommend.

The one analog horror that kept on saying run. Where the flip do i run?! If i run in a forest im cooked if i run in the streets ill get finished by the pale humanoid creature like wtfffff

"if you dont follow these steps....YOU WILL BE TRAPPED IN THE MESOZOIC ERA FOREVER!"  that got me. 😂🤣

The repetition of "consider praying" genuinely gave me chills??? And while the "today is sunday" is a little funny it is a grounding like "oh shit yeah" kinda moment. Very fun, genuinely impressive first try, i dont think i could pull off anything this nice

"YoU wIlL hAvE a HeAdAcE aNd FeEl A vErY sTrOng PrEseNcE oF bAd" OML IM DYING-

“Buckle up..ITS THE LAW👹” also me: I’m in the car while watching this-

imagine hearing that loud ass intro noise then hearing "we advise you to make no noise" and hearing some loud footsteps followed by a window breaking.

The problem with many analog horrors nowadays is the fact they spell everything out for you. Especially in these emergency broadcasts, greats like Mandela, Gemini, local 58, and others would leave out vague instructions and clues until a few episodes in when you can finally get the bigger picture, or ANY picture entirely. The horror came from the fact you didn’t fully know what anything was. Whereas copy cats tend to lean more towards just telling you “there is a spooky guy coming after everyone, here’s what he looks like: (*shows slenderman*) you have no chance, okay bye.”

911 operator: 911, what's your emergency?
"There's a weird lookin' tree... I'm tryin' not to look at it..."
I chuckled ha

"Don't try to save your pets" is by far the scariest part for me.  Most of them don't even say anything about what to do with pets, so you think "ok well I'll grab them and run" or some people would be like "sorry Fluffy" but that one SPECIFICALLY TELLS YOU...

im considering making an analog horror series about the horrors of ionizing radiation and chernobyl. there wont be any creatures, just radiation. the most terrifying thing about radiation is that it can kill you before you even realize its there.

Analog horror be like

EEEEEEEEEEEEEE
[WARNING]

A yellow rectangular entity has risen from the depths of the sea and is currently skulking the area. So far 55 missing cases have been reported.

If you know who lives in a pineapple under the sea? RUN

If the entity is absorbent and yellow and porous? RUN

If nautical nonsense is something you wish for? RUN

If you drop on the deck and flop like a fish? RUN

May god have mercy on us all.

25:31 Or they play the loudest alarm and then in the alert they go, “Do not make any noise or the entity will kill you.” Like you just screwed literally everyone.