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Say THIS Once. They’ll Never Twist Your Words Again.

Common Ego

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*In this video, I share the tips, techniques and insights that have worked for me in my own journey of healing after narcissistic abuse along with expert tips and tools I've learned through years of coaching narcissistic abuse survivors. I am not a therapist and this video is not meant to provide therapy of any form. #narcissist #covertnarcissist

20 Comments

@CommonEgo Creator 11 months ago Pinned

Feeling stuck after emotional abuse? Take the free quiz to find out where you are in your recovery journey: https://www.commonego.com/clarity-quiz

@jeremyalbert3969 11 months ago

Remember you deserve someone who treats you the way you treat others .

@the_humble_saint 11 months ago

Phenomenal advice. Learning to be calm but firm is so powerful.

@kennethlapointesongwriter3330 11 months ago

A narc doesn't want to understand what you said...they would lose control if they did that...they don't want YOU to be right...they want themselves to be right, always, and YOU wrong. So understanding you isn't even in their game book. And the way to do that is lie, be a hypocrite, be the victim, gaslight you, twist and alter everything you said, etc. Pretty sick individual. I remember one narc who was super-invalidating me wouldn't even let me defend myself. Again, they would lose control if they did that. They don't care about you defending yourself, etc.

@marybethmiranda3037 11 months ago

I’m not going to waste my time listening to you revise what really happened.

@IanM-id8or 11 months ago

My father played what he thought was a fun game - he'd get me to explain the same thing over and over and over until I stuttered. Then he'd say, "I understood you the first time. But you've got. To learn. To speak. More clearly."

It took decades for me to overcome that stutter.

I've found that all narcissists get a kick out of getting their victims to explain the same thing over and over. The best thing is to go full no contact, and also to go full no contact with their enablers.

I no longer have contact with my surviving siblings, may they rot in their own personal hells

@jillcatt2135 6 months ago

"I am not going to waste time defending something I never said." (5:45 - 5:55)

@b5f096e4 9 months ago

They can tell by your expression when they have no power over you and it frightens them to the core.

@herbert9241 11 months ago

Slight spin on that which I use: I have no case to answer, I'm not going to debate your suspicion.

@462ANIMAL 11 months ago

They never want to have a conversation and listen and understand where you are coming from. They know where it will lead. Has anyone experienced their anger and rage where their eyes turn black?

@mikes9959 11 months ago

THEM: Oh, so now I'm acting like a child!
YOU: Yes!

@JoJo23001 11 months ago

The narc will just use this on you the first chance they get.

@esmabinici235 11 months ago

If only we could be so strong that it is impossible to trigger us. It would be so much easier to deal with these people. Because once you are triggered, game over. You immediately forget what you were saying and get bombarded with all the false arguments and accusations they throw at you.

@scottb.435 1 month ago

Saying someone is acting childish is name calling.

@technogirl732 11 months ago

If you use this, the next time you try to call them out on something they said, they will use it on you. This only works if your very next move is to walk out the door and never come back.

@lnilsson1376 5 months ago

Im responsible for what I say and write, not your twisted interpretation of it.
Im not going to say sorry for you twisting my words.
You cant manipulate me, I see whats going on, and Ive said all I need to.

The phrases I use. You're all welcome to borrow them ❤

@grantaugustyniak6667 11 months ago (edited)

One thing I’ve learnt through the years about all Narcs is that words matter to them. So when you speak to them - think about the meaning of the words you’re using ( usually it’s short & simple but definitely to the point ) . Learn the words that shut them down .

@muma6559 11 months ago

exactly... it says "I'm seeing what you're doing, and I'm not playing that anymore" ! not your game, not that game

@Babsza 10 months ago

I fully understand how hard it is when you have been intimidated by someone.

@Haven2085 11 months ago

i like that so much thank you for the video! i will definitely use this in the future ❤
....
i work with someone like that , who keeps trying to instigate fights with me .. so i stopped trying to create an understanding between us and now tell him he is fighting with himself and i’m not involved…
they can be exhausting 🙄