Hi Josh!! It’s your old friend Lindsey (Langhofer) Thonen. This explains soooo much! I had such incredible respect for you growing up and was so confused and heartbroken when I found out you were an atheist because something about you felt so real and genuine! I’m so very glad that you came back to the faith!

I too got involved in a cult for a short bit a few years back and a lot of the things you are saying I relate to very much. My brother and his family are still involved in the cult and no longer associate with us and our family because I left and the family “sided” with me and it’s very painful. I also learned so much having that experience and going through that and my faith is ever stronger!

I would so love the opportunity to talk with you, if you are willing, just to catch up and share our experiences and encourage each other in the Lord! Stephanie shared this video with me and told me she’d been praying for you on and off for years…as well as I had years ago. My heart was so burdened for you! But I’m so happy for your genuine faith and that God has brought you into full restoration! Blessed be his name!!!

I want to say this to anybody who may come and see; please I implore you to understand faith is not with a church or a pastor, it’s with Christ and Christ alone. Please if you’re experiencing something you feel is wrong within a church, or a people group affiliated with religious aspects related to your faith, do not take that out on your relationship with God, remove yourself from that environment but don’t stonewall Christ for something he’s not responsible for. I see this too often people say they no longer have faith because of something a crooked person, or a church did, and it blows my mind. Please never let go of your relationship with our savior, the people in this physical world however are a different story. God bless.

There is a total lack of humility when a pastor is an abusive shepherd. Unfortunately, being in my 70’s, I’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. We’ve had pastors who cares about individuals, whether rich or poor. He retired and lived modestly, built a small home that was full of hospitality. After him though things have run the gamut. In spite of all that, our Savior sees us through it all. He never failed. He uses our failures or confusion to lead us out of legalism. Legalism is definitely the Devil’s playground. Our Savior sees us shows us how amazing God’s grace truly is.

abusive churches need to be exposed
God bless the brave souls speaking up

"Truth is a disinfectant"..love this statement!

"Truth is a disinfectant" - Amen brother! Thank you for sharing your heart so that others can find courage to stand up and speak the Truth!

When narcissism comes to church 😢

Josh, I am nearly 74 years old.  I think many, many people will relate to your story whether they were brought up in a christian family or not.  There is so much control in churches, pastors, elders, church councils - give people a position where they perceive they have power and it takes them over.  I have had it happen to me and eventually it resulted in my leaving the church although I have my relationship with God.  When I got the opportunity to be on the church council and was handed a piece of paper to sign that no matter what I heard I could never divulge it I thought "Wow this is like walking on dangerous ground".  Secrecy.  Thank you for speaking up.  I will listen to your other videos.  Bless you.

I am so proud of you my friend. More people than you know will relate to this on different levels. The gaslighting, the abuse, physical, psychological, the gang stalking, the manipulation, the gossip, the bullying and pushing others outside….. it’s a classic story of humanity being humanity and bleeding insecurity all over each other. If you take every layer of this and look underneath, all you will see is pain. Anger, fear of man, fear of lack it all equals pain. Immense pain no one admits, so they cover it with manipulation of scripture and being ice cold. When we release pain and give forgiveness, we release ourselves and the person or people involved. That’s probably why you feel so free right now. You have released a lot of individuals and now you can focus on your calling. You just gave God even more space in your life.

Usually, when I see a video is more than 45 minutes long, I choose not to watch, but I tuned in and watched all of this. I needed to hear it, and I'm sure many others do, too. Thank you.
A parent of mine went to a Bible college. One course was on characterists of cults, how to spot them, and how to not start one by accident. Even though said parent remembered the course and quoted it often, there were some blindspots regarding certain individuals. This is one reason why I believe a good education is so important for church leaders, not just going on emotions.

Dear Lord. What an introduction to the Christian faith. I’m so sorry you went through this, and quite angry that it was ‘in the name of religion’. So pleased you have found your way back to a proper faith in a loving God.

Powerful testimony that exposes the underlying nature of far too many churches in these times.

When a church is marked by coercive control, back-room decisions, closed-door secrecy, manipulation, intimidation, and the protection of institutional interests over truth and righteousness, we should not dismiss those patterns as merely “church politics.”

Such fruit is a serious warning sign of spiritual corruption and control– not the healthy operation of the Body of the Kingdom.

And when a so-called sanctuary becomes more concerned with protecting state-connected or institutionally acquired assets than protecting the flock, something has gone profoundly wrong.

The Kingdom of God does not need secrecy, manipulation, or coercion to preserve what belongs to Him.

This is very similar to my own experience of serving in a church that turned into a cult and getting out and no one cares about the bad things that happened and would rather keep their mouths shut then rock the boat. Lost a lot of friends… it was pretty much my life. Thankfully my best friend and her family and my immediate family that went there all believed me, recognized the issues and we all left. I’m lucky in that respect. Many people lose everything and everyone.

This was great! Very well told!  You are RIGHT… there’s a weird “control” thing, in many churches ! Your situation.. extreme!  But , I think this message is important!  God uses bad for good.   ❤

It's very important for us to be able to discern when our church has gone off tract and no longer in line with our values or calling/mission. Seeking guidance from the Holy Spirit when to leave.

Martin Luther: I was angry with God, and said, ‘As if, indeed, it not enough, that miserable sinners, eternally lost through original sin, are crushed by every kind of calamity by the law without having God add pain to pain by threatening with his righteousness and wrath!’ And thus I raged with a fierce and troubled conscience.

At last, by the mercy of God, meditating day and night, I gave heed to the
context of the words, namely, ‘In it the righteousness of God is revealed, as it is written, ‘He who through faith is righteous shall live’’. There I began to understand that the righteousness of God is that by which the righteous lives by a GIFT of God, namely by faith. And this is the meaning: the righteousness of God is revealed by the gospel, namely, the passive righteousness with which
God mercifully justifies us by faith, as it is written, ‘He who through faith is righteous shall live.’ Here I felt that I was altogether born again and had entered paradise itself through open gates. There a totally other face of the entire Scripture showed itself to me.
And I extolled my sweetest word with a love as great as the hatred with which I had before hated the word ‘righteousness of God’

You have no idea how many people can relate to the controlling, manipulating, narcissistic behavior of church leadership.  The spying, lies and being kicked out for questioning and lies told about us, terrible challengers.
Then  questioning my faith overall.  It’s terribly destructive.
It’s taken me years, before I could step into another church. Even longer before I could start to trust any other fellow believers.
Thank you.

Hello, Joshua.  Thank you for this open and heartfelt message (which appeared in my feed probably because I follow The Roys Report).  First, I am sorry for the pain you had to endure.  Second, I pray that your story will illuminate and free many others.  Years ago, God called me to advocate for victims of narcissistic control and church abuse.  So many stories just like yours.  I used to say “Feelings are not instructions”, but now I say, “Feelings are an indicator just like the dashboard on your car; ignore them at your own peril!”
I have great respect for you.  Glory to God for breaking through the darkness!

You have the gift of discernment. So do I. People don't like that gift.

Amen. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It has helped me to also reflect on my own experiences and fears and feelings of like something is wrong with me especially when it comes to church life. I too had walked away from church life 10 years ago (I too am a pastor’s son and know what’s it’s like growing up in a strict family) but have returned in January this year and I have been trying hard not be so guarded but it’s hard. I’ve found my peace and love for GOD again without the feeling of being unworthy or good enough 🙏✝️