This explains why narcissists can and need to move on quickly with a new person. They just project that idealized introject onto a willing participant and it seems like you never existed because you never did LOL. Wild and sad existence

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”

― Joseph Campbell

These two hours could only be defined as valuable

Please continue this conversation and expand in a similar way the timeline of a codependent.

I had the best sleep in years after watching this video. A lot of my questions answered and I felt that I finally got the relief that I was expecting. While in watching it, I was a little concerned about 'if I know how they feel, or how they were made, I will forgive them and go back'. Thank you for putting it in the way that I not only understand how they were made or self-made, but also that there's no hope for them to change. More importantly, it was not me, it was never about me. Sad but relieved. Thank you again, gents.

I came to watch this video because i just ran into my malignant narcissist ex, he pulled over in-front of me while i was walking my dog, i havent seen him in three years, He walked over to me and i just kept walking and said no a few times as he was trying to start conversation. I felt those intense trauma bong feelings resurface, terrifying to feel that again.

Do not be your partner's parent!!

Sam’s videos helped me speed heal after I went no contact w my entire narc family. Saved my life and gave free therapy via his videos. My life changed and I am at peace knowing truth of what I was dealing with a lifetime.

This is utterly devastating.

This helps you to understand how the stages of narcissism effect you and the narcissist - knowledge is crucial to comprehend 1) not your fault 2) nothing can be done for change, cycles will continue
Determine to have a healthy life and remove yourself before they do over and over

I found a new life since I discovered your videos a year ago. Your videos helped me to understand reality and myself. Thank you giving us all these psychopathological tools to delve deep into the minds of narcissists and borderlines.

This is the best most clarifying talk i have heard so far on these subjects! Thank you so very much!!

Thank you for explaining to me what has puzzled me for 4 years. As you talked I could feel the dark veils of confusion drop away. I think I “get it” now. What a relief & what a lovely feeling of lightness & freedom. In part, I feel silly for getting “enlisted” into a stage play crafted by a narcissist and his borderline. As the saying goes: “They are a piece of work.” I was collateral damage, but it wasn’t my fault. I thought I had chosen love and, based on hope, I chose a long term relationship that now I can see was going nowhere.
Well … now I choose sanity & health & genuine affection. Thank you, Dr Sam. Te agradezco.

Absolutely phenomenal!!! If you’ve never watched any of his content, he just summed it ALL up in a little over two hours🙌❤️👏🏻

I have a high conflict borderline mother with strong narcissistic traits and an enabling scapegoated, loving father, and my first relationship was with a sadistic covert narcissist. I have been on my healing journey long enough to have processed my feelings to have growing silvers of compassion and understanding for them. The more I learn about the internal experience of personality-disordered people, the more I see how the experience is an extreme form of Complex PTSD with dissociation, emotional dysregulation, unstable sense of self, harsh inner critic that devalues and discards everything including achievements, skills, traits, etc, unable to feel safe when connecting with other people, including self-alienation, and even reliving their own traumas and acting it out externally from inability to process and integrate it, which gets to a point where the only way to stay afloat and feel like a being is to outsource their regulation. What people with PDs feel and experience is very real to them, just like what other people feel and experience, and do the best they can with what they have. This one video explains so much about the introjects I have, and even explains why my parents and ex interact with me with the same button-pushing lines, or treating me like a 5 year old/a snapshot of the internal object, etc. It is so unfair for them to live such terrible internal lives, without getting the actual support and knowledge about understanding their own condition.

What is your bird-eye view philosophy/belief about personality-disordered people and the world, Professor Vaknin? I have listened to a significant number of your educational videos, and have found them spot-on for my experiences, and I strongly relate with your views/what I perceive they are.

Edits:
[1] Changed "borderline mother and a narcissistic father" to "high conflict borderline mother with strong narcissistic traits and an enabling scapegoated, loving father" (There was an immense amount of gaslighting and projection involved. I have been uncovering it in layers, just as I heal in layers).

[2] Changed "sadistic narcissist" to "sadistic covert narcissist"

The reason why you can’t see someone if you’re predisposed to being terrified of wounds to your ego/social life/mind is because you’re scared of that person. You have to let go of fear to have a real relationship. Fear has no please in our lives, you should live truly and have no fear.

Thank you so much for offering us this valuable insight! This has brought the pieces of the crazy  puzzle together… I had observed and concluded a lot over the 35 year relationship but this joins the dots!

Never heard before such an indepth analysis of narcissism and borderline. Very helpful discussion. Thank you.

This must be me. By the time I was 5 I could not even feel safe to go to leave my Mother to go to school. She would mention how she wanted my sister and I to leave her, our family home and get married.   There was a lot of other psychological and emotional control  and abuse. I end up marrying my Mother.

This interview is fantastic . I am only at minute 15 and already could cherry pick a lot of amazing informations I hadn’t before. Thank you. Also i loved the personal story from professor Vaknin and how narcissism can develop. It is so sad and heartbreaking to hear what his mother told him.