The part where you refuse to believe the person who wrote this was a woman gets me every time lol

Props to Gargamel for being the only sane one.

The absolute insistence on avoiding any overt sexual overtones almost makes it creepier. He's basically describing child torture and trying to put it in a wholesome context, setting up all these childlike, cartoonish scenarios that always seem to end with a baby "Smurf" being badly hurt. The way he uses language - all the synonyms for "small", "cute", "helpless" and "innocent", and his gross fondness for the word "tender" to describe the Smurfs' flesh - makes my skin crawl. The constant re-use of the image of torn and ravaged baby clothes is also noteworthy in how fucking disturbing it is.

What makes the gargamel guy calling out the fanfic even better is that they don’t have any other posts on the forum, which probably means they made an account specifically to call the fanfic out.

i love how gargamel is the ONLY one who sees whats wrong with this. like he just wanted to eat smurfs, not torture and molest them

52:00 can we just appreciate how out of all these people it's the one with the Gargamel picture that points out the insanity.

This dude used the word 'tender' to describe a baby's skin one too many times.

"They're waterboarding smurfs" is not a sentence I'd evver thought I would hear.

>Incredibly niche community and interest
>painfully obvious sexual/fetish overtones
>micro/baby/diaper/torture/sadism
>self insert main character who is a hero and can do no wrong
>repeated language and constant use of words like tender/small/helpless/bulbous
>odd fascination with handling and touching smurfs, primarily tails and noses


This isn't just cringe, this is infuriatingly bad cringe

Edit: as responses have pointed out, this isn’t even infuriatingly bad cringe, this is legit concerning, psychotic behavior. I would not at all be surprised to find out that this same user also tortures small and helpless animals for fun.

It started with "I got a baby smurf and I cared for it as my own <3" to "I ACCIDENTALLY BRAZEN BULLED AN INFANT"

at first i thought they were gonna realize how fucked up this was getting, but they didn't and now i feel like im getting sick

Even Gragamel would be disgusted by this, and he alternates between wanting to eat the Smurfs or crushing them into powder to make gold.

When you realize one of the most active commenters on that crap was actually a frickin MODERATOR

I’m sorry, but the mental image of Gargamel in genuine mental distress over this story is so absurdly hilarious lmfao

The Armageddon storm near the end and the sound of sirens in the background were just the cherry on top

Another thing to mention is that Smurf tails being sensitive isn't original to this fanfic; that was something in the original cartoon. However, that concept also led to a running joke in the fandom that a Smurf's tail was its genitalia. So in other words, the writer of this was trying to intentionally say he was gently poking at their testicles to amuse them.

Hearing Deadwing say "It's just so cute everybody" in the tone of flat dread is some new kind of horror.

It's so off-putting when someone says they like the smurfs. I feel like I'm gonna wake up in their dank, dark basement one day with a hole being drilled in to my throat.

This is probably why the aliens dont talk to us.

I always wondered why the show didn't have many baby smurfs. Now I know it's because the smurfs tried desperately hard to hide them from these degenerates.