I had a good marriage for 25 years. Then my son had a near fatal accident which caused me to take an early retirement to care for him. Slowly over the years I began to lose myself and my marriage slowly died as well. I was a happy independent woman with lots of my own life, but I lost the ability to do most of what made me who I was as I cared for my disabled son. Today, 10years later we are divorcing. I totally see how I lost my boundaries independence and I rarely gave any complaints as my sole focus was my son. So there is much truth to this but in my situation as a mom, I had to be there for my son.

1. Setting clear boundaries from the beginning
2. Remain yourself
3. You notice his effort without exagerating, selective recognition

I did almost everything in my marriage, raised our children and went out to work, for 37 years, then I took early retirement because of arthritis and back pain from an old injury. Over the last 10 years my ability to do house work has declined and I finally realised that my marriage was just a sham. I’m divorcing him after 47 years. He shows no regret that things are ending like this and expresses no concern as to how I will be able to manage on my own. I doubt that he ever really loved me, it definitely doesn’t upset him at all. The remainder of my life will be devoted to myself.

My 70-year-old husband was seriously injured in an accident and is now recovering in the hospital. I am praying every day that he gets stronger. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

Can agree with this almost entirely. Getting older it became clearer and easier for me to be true to myself and really value myself,  and my achievements in life.

I was married to a narcissist so I was fighting a losing battle from the start.
But everything you are saying is absolutely right on.  When I marry again I will live by the info you have outlined for me.

Been married 48 years we got married when we were 19 we are still together we have beautiful children and grandchildren I think it’s god that keeps us together but we do respect each other for who we are

I have always lived with these convictions. You are exactly right and on point! For me, it's who I am. I've never adopted  these ways to cause a reaction. It's simple I honor myself first! If he wants fleeting or doesn't honor me in the way I deserve, I walk away with no drama. I immediately start conditioning my mind for redirection and  acceptance.  No man has ever walked away because he didn't care, instead because what he felt was too intense. The way I process this is that I never had him, so where is the loss? If he  can't handle my strength, then he won't be able to handle living with me. Know that I was never nagging nor witheld love, not at all. I just speak up, and if he doesn't listen, then he'll regret not paying attention ,
when it's too late. It's not arrogance. it's showing up for myself, and only then can I give the best of me. I will not abandon my passions. Nor will I. Have abandoned quality time with a man. It's all about balance. Not allowing the scale to tip all to one side.  Trust me, the respect you gain is immense. As a woman, I choose to be strong and soft all at once. That's my take! Thank you for your wisdom!   Victoria

It took two marriages and 70 years to learn two out of three of these attitudes. I’m well into the last attitude of keeping my personal life to maintain my happiness. To be “with a man” without giving up myself for him.

More than crumbs in a relationship😢 Divine connections recognition, and love and unity reciprocity in Jesus name amen

To SharynS-jd.  I can relate to what you are saying.  You made the right choice.  Men are not babies, they should be able to look after themselves and not expect anything from their wives.  We are not there to cater to them.  Unless they are immature mama's boys.  Your husband should have been there with you.  When my daughter became very sick, I was just married to my second husband.  I felt torn and chose my new husband and our life together.  My daughter went to her father, it was her choice and I guess I was relieved. But, I feel even today that I betrayed not only her but myself.  I had her because I was meant to be a MOM and I chose not to be one.  She was 15 at the time.  Her natural father actually gave her confidence and support where I could only worry and be apprehensive.  Plus, the first husband terrorized me once he got out of rehab - over being a bad mother and lured my daughter away.  Be that as it may, it turned out for the best.  Still, now 30 years later I wish I could have been a complete mother.  Today, at age 75 I have no family.  I do have husband #2 who is a lovely man.

Relationships  is not flat as discribe but a wind- Abuja ,Nigeria

Never join a cult.
Your personality will be expected to shrink.
You will become the puppet of the person behind the podium who will dictate every aspect of your behavior, what you wear, where you should go and even try to dictate who you should marry.
Never join a cult.

All 3 helped. Thank you ❤

thank you. widowed after 58 years of marriage
it’s a whole new relationship world out there. great to have reminders of all three especially availability and self worth.

I Got A Headache Anxiety And  Exhausted bloated stomach because of this Attitude not  Normal I want to finish  this Story  his Stoicism  This kind of People is  Vampire  He Drained my  Energy !

After what I've been through and it is a lot.  I really don't care for men anymore in my life.  I had never heard of boundaries until now and I'm in my 70's.  This does not change my mind.

Everyone needs to be valued ! Start with valuing yourself ♥️

Remain yourself for equal respect❤❤❤❤

Yes these passions hobbies and interests are important for everyone!
Stages of life and becoming parents can often change this dynamic as suddenly you are attending and loving and bringing up children. That takes energy and if there are complications or illnesses or disability hidden or overt in the children or the parents then that self focus can be harder to maintain. Psychosocial and economic factors add to this..  Keeping the balance and maturity in these situations ensures everyone gets their needs met.