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Charles Duhigg: Asking Questions That Build Instant Connection

Jefferson Fisher

272,194 views

Ever feel like you’re talking but not really connecting? Or maybe you’re in a conversation, and you know the other person is just waiting for their turn to talk? Well, today’s episode is about to change that.

I’m sitting down with Charles Duhigg, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author of Supercommunicators, to talk about what the best communicators do differently. And here’s the kicker: it’s not about being the most persuasive—it’s about knowing how to ask the right questions.

Buy Charles' Book Supercommunicators: https://charlesduhigg.com/supercommun...

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20 Comments

@debmar4379 1 year ago

How delightful it is to be part of the conversation between two gracious intelligent communicators. Way to show how conversation can be so powerfully meaningful and engaging guys!

@ChenGaluna 1 year ago (edited)

My favorite part is , when somebody's coming to you, it's not always asking for help; it is simply asking to be heard.😇

@Neeblet1823 1 year ago

Wow!
That’s exactly what happened to me when my dad died. I got told a thousand times “I’m so sorry, let me know if there’s anything I can do for you”…….and only 1 person (who I didn’t even know that well) asked me what my dad was like. I almost broke down in tears when he asked that question because I so desperately wanted to talk about my dad! I’ll NEVER forget that kindness and I try to do that same for others when someone else shares that they recently lost a loved one 💛

@loriliving 1 year ago

“Do you want to be helped, hugged, or heard.” Love this. And every bit of this episode. Thank you. 🙏❤🤗

@ballzonyuh761 1 year ago (edited)

People won’t remember what you said, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel.

@AngieTaylor-m3d 1 year ago

You mentioned that people didn’t respond as positively to your video about listening. They didn’t realize that listening is the key to knowing how to proceed with the conversation. This podcast will help my listening skills so much!! Thank you for helping me become a better listener.

@nanetteprusakowski2058 1 year ago

I am a grandmother.
I think all teenagers and young adults should listen to the podcast and read the books on communication
With all the texting they have lost so much.

@shellz8775 1 year ago

“Do you want to be helped, Hugged, or Heard?”

@jameefrog6121 1 year ago

My ears perked up when you spoke about juries and teachers. I was called for jury duty three times during my career as a teacher and once they knew I was a teacher, I was not chosen…I did not realise this was a possible reason for not being chosen Jefferson. I really wanted to experience a trial at the time like a mini break from teaching…I love your podcasts and following you on instagram. Your book arrived at my front door yesterday here in Melbourne Australia. I am excited to habituate better communications. I also ended up purchasing Never Split arge Difference after your talk with Chris Voss….you may just send me broke with all these people you are interviewing with their best sellers😂 Well done on all you share to make this a better world. God bless🙏

@divinebeginnings48 1 year ago

I love your channel ❤
And thank you for not placing ads every 3 mins
A lot of us listen rather than watch
Having our phones not on us
So getting to listen without having to stop every 3 mins means so much

@radhikaschwartz3499 1 year ago

How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie is a classic book on communication. People love talking about themselves so ask them questions that draw out a way they can do this.

@faithhopeandloveinJesus 1 year ago

Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much they care.

@trishwilliams3153 1 year ago

There is ample material on communication out there. Books, YouTube, workshops, etc.
Authentic communication with the intention of connecting, caring about ourselves and others, creating a wonderful experience for everyone (to the best of our ability) is the reason I come to this channel. I am grateful 🙏❤️ Thanks guys!

@theperson101ful 1 year ago

Recently learned about Rescuing vs Empowering, and the last point really reminded me of that. For example if your daughter came to you to tie her shoe laces, and you did it for her every time (Rescue) she'd never learn to do it or take extremely long to achieve it, but if you just watched, encouraged and when she is stuck asked her questions as to why she's stuck (Empower) you empower her to solve her own problems and really achieve things quicker.

@Sharon-w4i5l 1 year ago

Hi Jefferson: I stumbled across you a couple of weeks ago on YouTube. As I listened and watched, I became fascinated. You appear to be genuinly authentic. I saw this during a video interview where you talked about your painful panic attacks. This transparency made you extremely relatable and credible. Keep up the great work. You are making a fabulous impact. Thank you... God's richest blessings to you and yours😊

@robinjohnson5014 1 year ago

This is like a mini therapy session

@brandilancaster4217 1 year ago

I don't have a lot of money but I have a library card! I just placed a hold on your book at my library. There's an 8wk wait list, so I know it's gonna be good. Thank you for all you're doing. It really is making a difference for ppl like me.
(With that being said, never stop making time for your people 😉)
You're a lovely person, Jefferson, and I appreciate you.

@lucid_747 1 year ago

I've naturally been a good listener asking deep questions in my life, and I've had trouble turning it off so that people don't expect me to be there for them so much without reciprocating-- exhausting. It's actually a big reason why I have a leaned into being a hermit so much.