how the hell did I end up this sad

No matter how i am loved, i always feel bad and cry about shit.

A poem





When the cuts don’t get more painful than the ones in your head ,so you cut deeper then realize the cut will never leave so you want to leave

and what my heart can't take my left thigh will

I genuinely can't focus or think for 10 seconds about anything other than a daydream where I am someone else, sexual thoughts or suicidal thoughts. Genuinely I can't think in class 90% of my thoughts are sexual.

dude im so ready for the weather to get colder
i hate summer so much, i wanna go back to wearing long sleeves to cover it up

i have finally arrived to the conclusion that no matter what i do, how hard i try, and how happy i can feel, i can’t run from pain

I don't understand. How could a fucking 13 year old feel so depressed she can't get out of bed and she  cuts herself, but another fucking 13 year is so happy she jumps because even though nothing is happening in her life she just loves living. I don't understand what happened to out fucked up world the generational trauma is getting so bad these days. Something needs to happen. I watch these videos because it makes me feel like I'm not alone. But the worst part is half of these creators are kids, like me, and half of them are so gorgeous I feel worse about myself. I wonder, if they are so miserable I have to be more miserable because I must deserve to feel that way, if I look how I do.

a poem I made last night:






as the blood pools
the knife releases
me of the shackle
of life
and only when
you thump my chest
to wake me from
my eternal sleep
will you weep.

so cooked even cutting stopped feeling like anything 😂

5:04 this one made me shed a couple tears lol

Random but I really appreciate how you’re replying to all of these comments💞💞

I’m genuinely so done like genuinely so many kids my age can do wtv they want I can’t do nothing and i understand that my parents wanna protect me but what are they protecting me from it’s not like one day imma get knocked up while in school like I know better than that and it’s so freaking annoying my parents don’t even trust me it’s so frustrating like wdym some kids have the best relationship with there parents but mine can’t even properly get along so now im just stuck here sucking it up bc no mater what ill do they will always think of me as a lazy girl i quit a lot of ppl have been telling me that im getting skinny but thats bc i haven’t been eating well i js stare at my food and slowly eat and it sucks bc not many ppl notice literally no one did and if it was me ofc i would notice but nobody cares im so freaking done im not living my teenage dream and i sent this exact mssg to my friends and all i got was “oh ok mijo” so yeah im not okay…

I miss feeling loved. I miss my sister. I miss my innocence. But I will probably never get to see this again.

Parents say Im faking but they haven’t seen me balling my eyes out at 2 am clutching my stomach with bleeding arms

Me at 2 am trying to sleep but watching this

its sad that i relate to the first one

6:41  hmm in my case probably 2!

I don’t know how much more I can take, I’m trying so hard to be okay and it’s just not working

rn I'm sick but i feel like I just need to do it.