The fact that this video shows in my notif after my gf said she feels like talking by herself because I don't get what she's saying, this video really a help for me

The thing about being an active listener is that you can actually listen to others, but because this social skill is so incredibly rare, other people really rarely actually listen to you. That after a longer period of time time it can make you wanna stop being an active listener because you deeply care listen to all of your closest friends, but none of them actually listen to you when you need it the most - then we ask: "Why should I make effort when it's never reciprocated?".

As a psychology student I confirm. Active listening also a manipulation tactic to build trust, that’s why salespersons ask many questions for example

Based off personal experience, Id really recommend to only use this with a handful of people you genuinely care about or want to capture the interest of. Most things mentioned here were things i did subconsciously and soon enough it ended with having multiple people unload their personal trauma onto me everyday. It takes a toll on your mind and over time the more aware you are of this the more you realise everybody loves you cause you listen but most of them dont care enough or are capable of doing the same for you when you need someone to talk to. You stop feeling comfortable with opening up to anyone and also feel used smtms.

the video starts at 2:46

I like how this isn't too like ''Do your best!''  He just says "Try to understand them, even if you get them wrong; that's what it matters you care about them"

i think thats exactly why my ex used to tell me that it felt like i dismissed her feelings. i did care but i just went straight to solutions and stuff. i wish i saw this sooner. but now i did so i guess whatever happens in the future i'll know.

3:04 Boss?
3:08 Invisible?!
Huh, now my Snake is Solid

Labeling emotions is surprisingly powerful. I tried this with a friend who was stressed about work and simply said, “That sounds really frustrating.” Instead of changing the topic, they actually started explaining what they were feeling more clearly. Sometimes people don’t need solutions, they just need confirmation that their emotions make sense. What’s interesting is that active listening isn’t just good for the other person, it changes you too. When you focus on understanding instead of waiting to talk, conversations become way more interesting. You realize how much depth people actually have when they feel safe enough to share it. Techniques can help, but people can feel when someone is just “using communication hacks.” The real shift happens when you actually care about understanding the person in front of you

proper communication should be learned at school change my mind

Time to add it to the watch later playlist

1.paraphrase: say what did you understand.
2. Engagement: show that you are interested.
3. Label emotions: guess what is their feeling on the topic or the event.
4. Most important thing: Dont pretend!!!!

00:19 Stop telling me what I think! I hat this phrase. It’s almost always exactly what I thought.

I noticed that I do all theses things naturally. Many of my friends have said that I am a good listener and that they wish to talk to me more. But now this video gives me clarity on how to 'exactly' do it and actually empathize with people. Thanks dude, this is so owsm ❤

I just do it naturally,I feel like if we are genuine bout the person and do care bout em it happens naturally 👀✨(thnx for the insights at the end and the tools as well.yup they are just tooIs.I commented while I was mid in the video)

11:06 tried this one when my friends stopped telling me about themselves and what happened in their daily life. they say that I remember everything, better not to share everything without thinking twice...

Someone can know nothing about you, but if you listen well they'll trust you with their deepest secrets.

I learned some of these concepts among other strong social skills in How to Win Friends and Influence People. Gives you more examples some historical like Abe Lincoln talking craps and being challenged to a dual. Even if you’re right, don’t reticule people.

As a psychology student I confirm. Active listening also a manipulation tactic to build trust, that’s why salespersons ask many questions for example

I do every single one of these in pretty much every conversation I've had for years, and yet no one cares. I really hope this was at least useful to others