Weronika Stachel was a Jehovah's Witness for 11 years. She was baptized at the age of 15, in a stadium, in front of thousands of people—she calls it a vow more important than marriage. A few years later, she sat before a judicial committee: three older men questioned her about the details of her intimate life, because they needed to "assess the scale of the sin." When she heard she had been disfellowshipped, she felt relief. That's why she came there.

I entered this conversation with my own baggage. As a teenager, I dated a girl from the congregation, and I remember well a conversation with her parents, and how my interest in religion was a prerequisite for continuing the relationship. It was 500 meters from my family home to the hall. For years, I watched from the sidelines and didn't understand much.

Therefore, this isn't a conversation about who believes rightly and who doesn't. I don't call it escaping a cult—Weronika herself uses stronger words than I do. It's a conversation about what happens to someone who has known only one side of the coin their entire life and then one day decides to see what's on the other side.

Weronika talks about her daily schedule, which involves half the week spent working for the organization. About how asking questions is perceived as a weakness of faith. About Armageddon, which "is supposed to be tomorrow," and about what it's like to live when the final judgment can come at any moment. About a divorce, which is impossible without physical infidelity. About how, as a teenager, she informed on her friends—and that today she calls it "sick."

It's also about the price. Exclusion isn't a formality. It's severing contact with all baptized witnesses at once—with family, with friendships built since childhood. Weronika talks about this, the most difficult part of the entire conversation: that these people weren't for her, but for her worldview.

And about what happened next. About the year she lived alone and considered it the best time of her life. About therapy. About how she couldn't cry for several years, and about the evening when tears flowed for the first time in a long time—and she called a friend as if it were good news.

If you're in a similar place, or someone close to you is—don't be alone. Weronika is very clear about what therapy has done for her.

Support Center for People in Mental Crisis: 800 70 2222 (toll-free, 24/7)
Emergency Number: 112

GUEST
Weronika Stachel — Instagram: Instagram: finansezweronika

CERTAIN THERAPY
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If this conversation was important to you—leave a comment. I read them all.

CHAPTERS
0:00 Intro
2:52 Why did you leave the church?

3:49 What are the rules among Jehovah's Witnesses?
4:25 Two meetings a week, preaching, God before family
6:28 When I officially stopped being a Witness
7:35 A closed world and the price of leaving
9:26 Doubts mean you're spiritually weak
10:53 Is there room for individuality in the congregation?
11:28 Why watching conversations like this is forbidden
12:23 My story: a girl from the congregation and her parents' condition
13:33 No holidays, no birthdays, no gifts
14:48 Dating only for marriage
15:57 Does matchmaking happen?
17:03 Marriage at 21 and separation
18:12 Divorce only after physical infidelity
19:13 The judicial committee - who judges your sin?
19:49 The lawyer who couldn't understand it
20:08 I confessed first
21:26 Disfellowshipping is the end of contact with all baptized people
22:01 What was a "small slip"
22:50 Self-punishment and an accident
23:35 Armageddon is tomorrow
24:44 Life without hope for eternal life
26:44 Why do witnesses get married so early?
28:10 "I need to see what it's like on the other side."
28:54 Is it possible to return to the church?
31:47 Why do some people "reset" themselves through betrayal?
32:42 Reporting on each other
33:06 As a teenager, I reported my friends.
33:50 "You lose contact with all your family and friends."
35:59 Therapy and a bridge to a new world.
37:42 The judicial committee from the inside.
38:20 How to assess the scale of sin.
39:27 "You've been disfellowshipped"—what I felt then.
39:46 Three committees. Me and four men
40:33 A woman's place in the church
41:48 "You should work at the cash register at Lidl"
42:34 High heels and red lipstick
43:29 How my professional life changed
45:12 Friendships that were for my worldview, not for me
47:06 Why many people move from one organization to another
48:17 Messages from former friends
49:46 Admitting to myself that I let myself be taken advantage of
51:41 A year of loneliness that turned out to be good
53:38 "For several years I couldn't cry"
55:19 The moment I said no for the first time
56:47 11 years in the church. Baptism at the age of 15
57:34 Baptism in the stadium and "a signal to Satan"
59:52 Free labor for the organization
1:00:30 Was it a cult? 1:01:49 "Everything is a matter of perspective"
1:03:4...