"you might need a daughter in death, but I needed a mother in life" OOF tana.

tana, we are all so honored to be in your void. thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing these parts of you with us, truly.
❤️

Thinking about little Tana sitting outside of her mother's room, teaching herself to tie her own shoes after being rejected over and over again, brought me to tears.  She deserved so much better ❤‍🩹

“She’s floating with butterfly’s around her and she’s laughing and happy and she’s holding me as a baby.” I cry. My heart hurts for her.

I cried in my fiancés arms last night and said "Tana is the only person I know whose also going through what I'm going through"

This matters. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing.

People born and raised in healthy families really don't know how fking lucky they are. This shit hurts so bad 😞

Your mother may never know peace in life, but in death she will be able to look down on you knowing you are happy, healthy, and you made it. The cycle is broken. That is your final act of being her daughter. ❤️

Dude how is Tana’s train of thought so poetic… Her podcasts are extremely relatable.

My daughter was no contact with me for 10 years.  I did the work in therapy and became proud of her for breaking the cycle. I knew that her children would never have to endure what her and I went through.  It hurt me so much not to see her but I respected her boundaries and took accountability.  She was a child.  I should have done better.  One random day this February, she reached out and we are rebuilding on her terms and I respect that.  Tana, as a mom in that situation, it doesn’t seem like she has done the work.  Even on her death bed… all of that is manipulation.  I’m sorry.

41:24 “she spent so much of her life dreaming” hit me like a TON OF BRICKS. That is so heavy and relatable. Outgrowing our toxic parents is an extremely hard uphill emotional battle and it is indescribable to explain. Sending so much love and hugs your way Tana 💓 you are worth everything you’ve ever accomplished and YOU did the damn thing. We, your fans, are so proud of you.

Remember: forgiveness is for yourself. Not the other person.

“I hold a lot of reality but I don’t hold resentment” is the first time I’ve heard someone say something that could accurately describe what it’s like to hold my own resentment that I wish I didn’t have for my family members. I never thought there was a way to acknowledge the things that have happened to me without holding the resentment too but that phrase “I hold reality” was so healing in that moment you said it I genuinely feel like crying. I feel like those words can actually help me find a way forward

My god tana. I was a foster parent, and I work in child welfare now. I will use this episode for every child that deals with the hardship and guild of their parental relationships. You hit it right on the head. The feelings and the turmoil. I hope God continues to bless you and I hope that in all of this, in everything, you truly understand that you never deserved to have to be as resilient as you are. You deserved safe, loving, and kind parents. You survived that, and now you get to be soft, safe, loving and kind.

This helped me decide to start my sobriety journey tonight....
Mom's an alcoholic, dad was an opioid addict (he lost the battle).

I don't want to be a wild card anymore. I tossed the rest of the alcohol I have on hand, I'm waking up tomorrow to my last hangover.

Oh Tana. When you said when your mother passes on she’ll be holding you again as a baby, I started crying.
you will break the generational curse. You already have ❤

legit cried when you spoke about the things that make you remember them, love you tanaa i hope someday this whole situation starts feeling lighter.

This is a great podcast, not only is Tana sharing her emotions and situations, but people in the comments are also feeling safe to do so. It’s a beautiful community that’s been built and still growing. Love to you all!

My mom passed almost three weeks ago, after almost a decade of no contact. She was a lot like your father; narcissistic, abusive, and truly did horrible evil things to me, my siblings, and my dad.

I'm grieving the mom I wish I had had. I'm grieving the idea of her, but I don't regret not going to see her on her death bed. She didn't deserve that, I deserved a better mom.

Thank you for this Tana

Children are inherently hardwired to love their parents unconditionally. To decide to become completely estranged from a parent goes against our nature. Do you realize how much it would take for an adult child to get to that point. It is the complete shattering of our very foundation.

“I won’t call what I do art” and then she lays it down like THAT. Impactful, simple, stinging, and poetic. Off the DOME