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Inside polyamorous relationships and open marriages | Compass | ABC Australia

ABC Australia

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The concept of ‘soulmates’ has been around for centuries, but can one person meet all of our emotional, intellectual and physical needs?

Siobhan Marin travels Australia to meet people who are living beyond monogamy — in polyamorous relationships, throuples and open marriages.

For many in this community, ethical non-monogamy isn’t just about sex.

It’s about questioning traditional ideas around love, loyalty and commitment.

Although polyamory is becoming more popular, especially among younger generations, it still carries challenges.

We speak to couples and polycules about navigating boundaries, stigma, insecurities, and the natural feelings of jealousy that arise.

For more stories about our ethics, spirituality and beliefs, watch ABC Compass on iview: Compass: ABC iview

0:00 Intro
1:20 Polyamory in the suburbs
3:26 The ups and down throuple life
7:00 Breaking down the stigma of ethical non-monogamy
10:31 Do soulmates still exist?
12:24 Navigating relationships with multiple partners
14:34 Heartbreak and healing in a polycule
20:35 Raising kids in a poly family

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20 Comments

@MidNightRider2001 1 year ago

This video needs charts and diagrams.

@Joo963joo 11 months ago

So enjoyed the balanced reporting - married 28 years and we each have another partner (7 years strong). It’s tricky for sure but never boring ❤

@jasonpayne1460 1 year ago

My wife has brought up her desire to explore polyamory. She shared this video with me in the hope it would help me to understand her feelings. After watching it, I think it glossed over the doubts and downsides. Yes the 3 stories touched on strains and difficulties but it felt like the interviews just acknowledged them and it all worked out in a happy ending for everyone. I believe in real life it's more complicated and difficult than it was portrayed here.

@misslis191 3 months ago

Thank you so much for uploading this! 🙏❤ I'm polyamorous myself, and this is honestly one of the best documentaries on the topic that I've seen on YouTube.

I really appreciated how diverse the people and their stories were. It felt well-researched, nuanced, and authentic.

@heathergrahame9647 1 year ago

Nic is a superstar. He actually did it - "If you love someone, set them free".

@markleon411 1 year ago

Polyamory requires good control over insecurities and that's why it's not for everybody. Monogamous relationships help to focus on support of each other's shortcomings and growth.

@lifeisrocqi 4 months ago

Black American polyamorist here so its nice to hear stories abroad.

Also my husband and I date separately. No triads. They get SO MUCH media representation because they are visually nonmonogamous

@joannewilson1483 1 year ago

This freedom has been a choice since life began open to all who want it or not

@GavinSteele-m7d 4 months ago

If all parties are happy it’s simply your own business.👌👏🇦🇺

@missnaomi613 1 month ago

Honesty and clear communication are essential in any relationship. It just seems easier to keep trudging along without it if it's just two people.

@alexwilder8315 1 year ago

It's not that monogamy "doesn't require people to be open about their deepest fears and insecurities," it's that following any particular relationship structure by default precludes the strict requirement for that level of communication to occur in order for things to even move forward. It's not some feature of monogamy itself.
Non-monogamy on the other hand does require that communication because there is no default to defer to. Things can quickly break down without that regular verbal clarification there. But I think this breakdown can happen in monogamy, too. When people assume others want the same thing they want and have the same picture of coupled life as they do, they can still hurt each other and waste each other's time even without need for a third person's involvement.

@MaxEvans-cz2no 8 months ago

However adults love each that works and brings stability for any children is fine by me. I know in the gay world open relationships are pretty common. It generally means each partner has mostly sexual experiences with another guy. A "throuple" the way we understand that term -- is when three guys are trying to have a relationship with each other. It sounds like a lot of the straight people featured are actually in open relationships.

@motokokusanagi1172 9 months ago

Throuple, like a couple but with three! ❤

@Rickandwifey 3 months ago

We would try it

@soundsgood12 11 months ago

The mother became a bit confused with her own view when her son expressed concerns/reaction with polyamorous relationships. For me children are likely to become confused as they have more partnerships to deal with and to consider choosing from in adulthood. The level of stability and maintaining healthy dynamic's in such relationships would seem to require more effort then the more traditional arrangements. And then there's society. It's early day's.

@pmorph 1 year ago

excellent video-- covering all the different aspects and challenges of the poly world. I admire those who can do this and sustain it-- that is impressive.

@warrenbowen6223 1 year ago

Whatever works for you

@shala604 4 months ago

I think our personal opinions on poly relationships are most often a reaction and response to our deepedt insecurities. I think having the openness it takes to embrace a poly relationship isnt possible for the bulk of society. They simply dont have the capacity for that type of relationship. Its far too enlighted for majority of society. It shows immediately when reading the comments. So derogatory and judgmental. Even the idea that it could be a better more fullfilling way to live is just a bridge too far for them. Just because you couldnt manage that type of vulnerable clarity doesnt mean its wrong. Its always mindblowing how willfully ignorant people choose to remain.