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"I Let Myself Get Excited & He Promptly Dumped Me—What Happened?!" - Ep 475 - Dear Shandy

Dear Shandy Podcast

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It's CALLER DAY! 📞 Today we're joined by TWO lovely callers! Our first caller, Emily, has just been dumped by the first guy in ages she's thought could be The One. After years of dating and actively putting herself out there, she's downright defeated. What happened? And more importantly, WHERE IS HE?! Our second caller, Ryan, has an unpopular choice for her bridal party. Should she overcome her family's judgment, or is it simply better to keep the peace? Listen on for the Shandy take!

Interested in getting the Shandy take but don't want to appear on the podcast? Email dearshandy@gmail.com for information about Shandy's new Off The Record sessions!

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Time Stamps:
0:00 - Welcome To Caller Emily!
38:07 - Shandy Debrief
44:15 - Welcome To Caller Ryan!
1:00:15 - Shandy Debrief

If you have a relationship question, write us at: dearshandy@gmail.com

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Produced by Gabrielle Galon - Instagram: gabsamillion

#relationshipadvice #couplegoals #relationships #datingadvice #dating #dearshandy #dating101 #married #heartbreak #heartbroken #healingheartbreak

20 Comments

@rachelstoddart6995 2 months ago

Please do more of these call in episodes! They are so interesting and give perspectives on interpersonal relationships

@fkamuffin6597 2 months ago

My best friend said the exact words “I am so done learning lessons” after lots of failed relationships, post significant self work which feels so frustrating. And now she has found the love of her life. In between there she invested in herself, she read the artists way and just focused on herself. The person she ended up with couldn’t have showed up sooner, the timing had to be this way and now it all feels worth it.

@imannoyed 2 months ago

Yay! I love caller episodes so much 💖

@AidaKaric98 2 months ago

YAY thanks for bringing these back!! <3

@aprilwood2780 2 months ago

Andy, you look fabulous in that brown polo shirt! Very dashing!

@atnlaa 2 months ago

I’ve missed these caller episodes so much!! So excited to listen!

@kamalastromwall9275 2 months ago

Andy's having a good hair day.

@WhaChuUpTo 2 months ago

Wow. Listening to caller Emily felt like listening to a kindred soul. When she described knowing herself well and exactly what she was looking for, I’ve almost said the same phrases verbatim before. Honestly she sounds amazing, grounded, smart, fun and I can’t wait for her time to come - I know it will.

@KayRay1966 2 months ago

I mean, her brother and father are forever. Autumn has been in and out of her life three times already. Invite her to the wedding, sure, but no need to have her in the wedding party. They are likely to drift apart again in the future and she will always regret making her brother and father uncomfortable. Shandy acts like your loved ones' feelings don't count for anything and if you take them into account, you're a "people pleaser".

@katesoss545 2 months ago

Awww my heart just broke for Emily! I want to give her a hug and tell her everything is going to be okay. I did want to add that I don’t actually think it’s possible to force yourself to “care less.” I think what you can do is work on fantasizing less and thinking that a new person you’re dating is going to fulfill all these dreams and desires you’ve had for years. The feeling of peace that Emily had did not come from this other person, but from within HERSELF. Most likely because it made her believe that everything was “going to work out.” I mean… obviously only she’d know that.
Anyway! Caring less about particular outcomes should be a byproduct of healing, not a specific command to yourself. It’s WAY too hard!

@jennyc5140 2 months ago

You know what they say, expectations are premeditated resentments ;) - in regard to your first caller!

@deniserichard5613 2 months ago

Great episode! I love the advice episodes so much. It's so educational and entertaining at the same time.

@snowfire18 2 months ago

I love caller episodes!

@jareya 2 months ago

Caller one, you got great advice. You're doing great. Enjoy the process.

@ningyding 2 months ago (edited)

Perfect advice, Shandy

@estherponte249 2 months ago

Yay! Caller episode!

@margaretkurek2111 2 months ago (edited)

I think a general rule of waiting three months before getting physical, instead of three dates would be more effective . Make sure you can really trust a person and actually like them. Unless you really know that you are cool with casual sex. Women at large might be less jaded if they weren't so often discarded after intimacy.

@Charity-Wellspring 2 months ago

Oh, how I missed you two! I wish I had a problematic life so I could talk to you guys, lol

@loveinkwell-e9i 2 months ago

Glad to see a couple other comments that also disagree on Caller 2 (sorry Shandy!). In general it’s fine for a bride to assert herself for her wedding, and I get wanting to encourage a recovering people-pleaser, but is this really the hill to die on? A woman you barely spoke to for years until recently, and who lives across the country…Realistically, what’s the likelihood you’ll actually be super close best friends (if you even are now) long enough for it to be worth all this agonizing? Maybe it’s just me not being big on ceremonies and symbols but I just don’t see why it is so essential to elevate this one particular friend to such a position of honor and visibility at your wedding that you’d be willing to put up with awkwardness or tension with the rest of your family, who, let’s be honest, will probably be more present in your life for longer into the future. Sorry if that sounds cynical lol. Just invite her to the wedding as a guest and be done with it

@WolframCharlie 2 months ago

Quince: Blouse: I would think a blouse would be more puffed up than a shirt. Paratroopers would blouse their pants meaning to tuck into the boots and puff out