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She tells me we are done I reply like the princess Bride " as you wish"
And done we are.

She's toxic

He never took responsibility for his side of what happened though. He just dumped all the blame on the girl.

Two people talking past each others until it was all broken.
Erin, like so many women, wanted her BF to be a mind-reader. 🙄
Then, as per usual, they break up because of a technicality. This guy is so pure and perfect,  he probably sh*ts gold cufflinks!

She asked if the threat of the breakup being real was the reason why I wasn't ready to re-commit to the engagement and if it was the only reason and not the fact that I had Grace to go back to once we had had a chance to see if the engagement was repairable. I answered no, but said that I did not believe in a future where another threat of ending things with me would not be the underlying thing that made her go that route again, and that Grace did not enter those possibilities. I was not ready to re-engage because Rachel could not make that promise although she had already expressed that she would never use that threat under any circumstances going forward. I answered that neither of of us could see whatever hypothetical problem that would arise in the future and that I did not believe that was a foundation to built a future for us both to step into.

Bablablabla... word salad!

If her words have not meant what they normally do in the past how can I trust anything she says in the future?
Speak to be understood. Anything else is lying because you are trying to hide the real meaning.
Say " I need reassurance. " Explain what that looks like to you.

Then the other person can give you what you want in the form you want. Not everyone wants it the same way.

Any discussion of the dude's own fault in this is just pretentious pseudo-philosophizing.  She said it was over, and that's it.  Why read a personal flaw into not recognizing that she was playing a stupid game with him, and why even consider that there may have been a legitimate reason for playing such a stupid game?

The rest of the story should have just been about building his relationship with the chick he started dating.