I think both sides are overloaded with information online, and they end up more confused than before.

My three pieces of advice as a straight guy is, these are assuming the relationship is healthy

1 Show him how much he means to you- I feel some women will tell you this is a terrible idea. It will make him lazy. The opposite is true. He will be more motivated than ever

2 Tell him if you want him to do something for you- If what you want is reasonable and he cares about you, he will most likely do it for you. He just doesn’t know what you want without you telling him.

3 Show him it is safe for him to be vulnerable around you- a lot of people don’t actually know their male partners. The men keep most of their insecurities locked inside, out of fear if they admit them, they will be abandoned. You are not his therapist, but you are part of a relationship where both sides need to support the other as much as possible

Sir a second bi dating advice has hit the home page

The real problem with dating advice online is that it will always resonate with the wrong people.
Anxious types are addicted to the advice that keeps them anxious, avoidant types are hooked by advice that justifies keeping up their guard.
Trying to get the right advice to the right people is like farming against the seasons.

Thank you for calling out intermittent reinforcement. Doing this to anyone is not only harmful to the other person, but it's setting you up for a toxic dynamic that will be bad for you too.

I think a lot of guys on the internet giving the advice you described are coming more from a place of what frustrates them with dating women than actually thinking through what would be helpful for the woman, even if they think what they're saying is helpful.

As a straight guy if there is one thing I would say: For fucksakes don't make things one iota more complicated and difficult than they need to be. You want/need something? Say it. You feel something? Say it. Something bothers you? Say it.

Using your words to express things is ia a relationship superpower.

0:00 "Go for the ugly dude" is the male equivalent of women's advice saying "Give her flowers on the first date!" Both are just projecting their ideals/fantasies of relational certainty without considering the well-being of the person they're supposedly trying to help.

Good points raised. As for the whole mystery angle, hard pass for me. If messages are not returned and I'm being made to think 'is this woman into me or not', I'm done. Show me you like me and I'm all in. Simple. Anything less communicates no interest.

My dating advice to women is the same as its been my entire adult life:

Just cuz he sleeps with you doesnt mean he likes you.
Just cuz he sleeps with you despite not liking you doesn't make him a manipulator or narcissist.
If you cannot handle the impact of a guy not wanting to commit despite having sex with you, you need to set a boundary and probably wait until youre actually BF/GF before having sex. If he says shit like "Ah, well, I need physical intimacy before I can commit" then just walk away.

One's standards should be directly proportional to ones' sense of urgency to get into a relationship. If you're happy single and dont care too much if you get a BF/Husband, then let your standards be sky high who cares. If you feel like you cannot be happy single and the prospect of being single well into your 30's or 40's is too depressing, then find a guy whos decently attractive enough and is easy to talk to, or whatever standards match your own personality/looks.

Which leads to the final piece - introspection isn't just a means to self-diagnose or psychoanalyze yourself, use it to be honest with who you are. Are you fun, engaging, conversational? Cool, put that same expectation on the guys you date. Do you struggle to find topics of convo, have a flat demeanor and like to sit at home staring at a screen? Then don't be surprised if all the dudes you date are "boring". Guys arent interested in being Prince Charming willing to whisk you away from your dull life into a fanciful kingdom of fun and adventure - unless you're exceptionally attractive, but thats a small percentage.

7:35 That TikTok is describing a manipulation tactic ngl

Speaking as a cis man raised by women who ultimately became self-labelled misandrists, I've grown up with a gentle, more feminine approach to masculinity and empathy that many men simply don't have.

Men lack purpose and direction, and need clear communication on both. If you make them feel like their existence around you is both valid and appreciated, they'll be much more open to you. When they do open up, don't disparage them for it under any circumstance because patriarchal society has conditioned us to 'toughen up' and not disclose our mental health, leading to these behaviours that ultimately turned some of us more toxic to begin with. The reason some men feel like therapy work is because they don't feel like they're worth the effort of being supported simply because they've been conditioned to feel that way, to the point where women have also fallen for this.

A personal add; I love that we've spent a lot of time advocating for women's mental health, but I ask women to do the same for men now. Too often do good-natured men fall down wrong paths or struggle to find the right ones, and a bigger awareness and acceptance of gentle masculinity (what we currently mislabel as feminine behaviours) will help more men feel open and empathetic in the long-term, ideally reducing a lot of those things both men AND women worry about when it comes to the law. We were born to be natural protectors and providers, and we still want to do these things without feeling like we'll be judged for simply desiring to do the morally right thing.

"Lower your standards" is kind of sensible advice when a woman's standards are so extremely specific (or contradictory or, you know, high) that no person on earth could meet them ("I want a billionaire athlete genius philanthropist who is courageous and charismatic." "So, Tony Stark?" "Nah, he's too short."), but it can have horrifyingly bad consequences if it's something like "who cares if his voice gets on your nerves, as long as he can provide for you and your future kids and isn't abusive, he's a catch".

Also, I wasn't aware straight women were interested in dating advice from men. This channel is teaching me new things every day! ;-)

Regarding the last bit of advice in the video, here is some absolutely great dating advice from me: Don't take dating advice from internet videos made by shirtless men or men sitting in cars 😀

I think it’s important to consider the source when deciding which dating advice to heed or not.

“Go for people you’re not physically attracted to/less physically attracted to” tends to come from Nice Guys who are envious of conventionally attractive people.

“Approach men, it’s a 100% success rate” comes from men who don’t even notice unattractive women.

“Stress him out a little if you wanna make him obsessed with you” comes from emotionally underdeveloped people who think psychological mindgames are the way to someone’s heart.

I really do like this thumbnail caption and I agree with the video - as much as women publically hate the idea of being compared to fish and men going to other men to ask about dating women , it also applies in reverse. The best dating advice or actual actionable information I've gotten about dating women has come from either 1-> A straight man that's successful with women 2-> A lesbian that's successful with women, and never from a straight woman themselves. As invalidating as it can feel to have the "don't ask the fish how to fish" - stated preferences vs revealed actions are a big and often painful reminder of how people actually are.

The real takeaway is to disregard or at least be more skeptical towards "advice" from people who 1.) aren't in a similar position to you ( environment/goals/wants/needs ) 2.) aren't after the same thing as you - straight women and men both want to be validated but also don't know how shit it can be dealing with their own gender as a whole.

Anyways, more reason to have as many platonic friendships across all sexualities, maximize those experiences.

It's really facking simple: Just talk to him. In a normal way. No games.

I was thinking this was going to be about how men’s advice of “just ask him out” and nothing else is and advice, because that’s what I see a lot online (and isn’t helpful). But telling girls to go after guys they’re not attracted to is just people who can’t get the women they want themselves, projecting what they want towards women.

I agree that guys tend to be optimists when thinking about women and attractiveness. To paraphrase George Carlin, "Think about how unattractive that average woman is, then realize half of them are less attractive than that."

Men often say that women's standards are too high. But I genuinely don't think that's meant to imply that women should date men they don't find attractive

The implication is that average looking women should be attracted to average looking men and so on and so forth.

It's a fundamental problem with how women view men.

Back when I've asked out men or admitted my feelings, the first time he just responded "ok" to me saying that I thought he was cute. And then he told his friends and I overheard them mocking me a little later. Another time he didn't understand I was flirting with him, or he just was acting oblivious on purpose because both of these so far were in highschool when I was simply in my slob phase. The next time it was with a friend of mine online and he reciprocated initially, and we were technically together for like 3 days but he ghosted me for the last one because he was wanting to wait long enough to dump me at a time that wouldn't ruin my whole day (he's in a different time zone, didn't work it was 1pm my time lmao). His stated reason was that he didn't think a long distance relationship would work and he would rather I be with someone who can actually be with me physically. We're still friends, he's my bestie, but damn was I upset that day and for a little while after lol.

Then it was dating apps they kind went nowhere, I got hookups and dates and men being weird in my DMs, but I eventually got a boyfriend! It was long distance, 2 years, never met up even though we tried, he said he bought me something for my birthday once but never sent it. When we broke up how it happened was he just ghosted me. I'm nosey and so every once in a while I would try to see what he was up to, and within 9 months of our breakup he changes his profile from single to engaged/married, so it's highly likely I was the side piece.

I haven't put in a serious attempt to date men since, honestly, especially since I figured out I was bi in that relationship and so I've just been with women and genderweird folks since. Only like, this week, have I bothered to switch my tinder settings to men again just to try it again.

So yeah don't go telling women "100% success rate", some of us are 4s on a good day bro lol. Like I've heard from other women in my life and the media a few times that men don't like being approached, because it means the woman is masculine & weird or a slut. So y'all should be aware.