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How to Move On, Let Go of Past Mistakes, and Reinvent Yourself

Mel Robbins

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Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them.
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Today’s episode is a deeply honest conversation about what it takes to let go of mistakes, forgive yourself, leave your past in the past, and create a new version of you.

In this moving episode, Mel sits down with her friend Carl Lentz, a former megachurch pastor, who watched his life implode in real time.

Carl doesn’t dodge the truth: His actions shattered trust, cost him his career, and nearly destroyed his family.

But this is not a story about scandal.

It’s about what you do after the worst moment of your life.

It’s about the courage to face what you’ve done, to stop running, to forgive yourself — and to rebuild something stronger from the wreckage.

Carl doesn’t pretend to have it all figured out. What he offers is honesty without excuses, wisdom forged in pain, and a raw invitation to stop letting your past dictate your future.

If you’ve made mistakes, if you’re struggling to forgive someone, if you're trying to put the pieces back together, this conversation will meet you right where you are.

Because you are not your worst moment.

And your next chapter is still yours to write.

For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/ep...

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I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode.

In this episode:
00:00 Meet the Guest
05:31 This Conversation Is About Forgiveness
16:38 The True Cost of Living a Double Life
21:37 The Truth Behind the Infidelity
32:31 The Night Carl’s Life Imploded
46:53 What Real Self-Forgiveness Actually Looks Like
01:01:19 Encouragement to Keep Growing

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20 Comments

@glowandgrowspace 1 year ago

Letting go is hard when you keep replaying the past like it defines you.

@TheMrwhitesox 1 year ago

That quote he said about giving your best self the same amount of time you gave your bad self really hit home

@LJH662 1 year ago

Very empowering, but give credit to his family for being willing to forgive.

@KellyScott-sz1kp 1 year ago

Carl......thank you. My husband cheated many years ago, and we are still together, but not in a good way. He doesn't want to lose me, and I wanted to stay to make him miserable. I absolutely could not forgive him, because I believed "once a cheater always a cheater". Very toxic mess. I'm going to share this video with him, and put down the pitchfork. This video was the nudge I needed. I need to stop "getting even", and let him grow, grow together, and just BE HAPPY again. Thank you dear....you are loved!!!

@EmotionalFallout 1 year ago

Letting go isn’t forgetting — it’s choosing peace.

@Dhabiya 1 year ago

The only shame is not to live your life and change choices as they suits your new stage. There is no ready recipe for life. You are a human evolving all the time.

@ginger.that.GGmerch 1 year ago

“I accept that I’m playing the long game, and I believe that I will reap the harvest…if I keep planting the things that I need to plant.” -Carl

@boitumelomolete5548 1 year ago

"I am proud of myself I made it through the day. I did not give up". I needed this. Thank you 🎉❤

@tobym9045 10 months ago

Thank you Carl and Mel. I have been beating myself up over a failed marriage, a job loss and late (50) diagnosed ADHD for much too long (way to many seasons in fact). Like you, I was hiding, feeling shame and regret and pretty much beating myself up. I've been trying to "fix me" all on my own because I feel broken and I haven't wanted or even thought I deserved help. I was trying to make a "heroic comeback" on my own to "save face" but I've been spinning. I've also been isolating to avoid the people I don't want to lie to, but also don't want to "come clean" with about my situation. It has made me feel stuck... and it has made me broke and very alone. My resilience is being tested. I've been living in survival mode too long. I still have hope ! I haven't given up! ...and I've recently finally gotten some help. This video was very helpful. Thanks again.

@aminabecirovic1662 1 year ago

I’m a Muslim woman from Bosnia and Herzegovina, and I was raised in a very conservative environment. Even though our beliefs and backgrounds may differ, what touched me deeply is your honesty, courage, and humanity.

At the end of the day, beyond religion, status, or past mistakes – what truly matters is that we are human beings capable of change, growth, and grace. There is something profoundly healing in seeing someone fall and then rise again—not with pride, but with humility and love.

Thank you for reminding us that shame doesn’t heal, but truth and forgiveness do. May we all find the strength to face ourselves, forgive ourselves, and become a source of light for others. Your story is not just yours anymore—it’s a gift for anyone walking through darkness, trying to believe there’s still hope.

With respect and love,
A sister in faith and in humanity 🌿

@Lindastyle 1 year ago

For some reason it feels nice when she says "it's your friend Mel" 😂

@nancyfahy7672 1 year ago

The key for me is that Carl accepted responsibility for his actions and is actively working to change and be a better person. Well done. May we all do the same and take responsibility for our mistakes.

@lightsonwithcarllentz 1 year ago

Such an honor to be on the podcast and talk to you Mel! Hope everyone can take something away from this conversation.

@kgidgafbnb01 1 year ago

this came to me at the lowest point of my life. thank you both

@Flower-power99 5 months ago

Rarely do you hear about peoples flaws and forgiveness of self. This is much needed for so many people to hear, including myself. Thank you so very much for your honesty! In a world full of secrets and perfection it’s a breath of fresh air to hear this ❤

@Erin-v3v 1 year ago

I’m in the thick of it. I haven’t told anyone the true nature of what’s been going on and it has now also manifested to physical pain and numbness in my body leading to a&e visits whereas before all this I was fit and healthy.

I didn’t only give my pen away, I gave them all the paper I had too.

I will look up to grace instead of down to shame, then share the whole truth with someone who loves me.

After watching this- it’s time.

I believed I was protecting those I love by not saying a word, but I’m not protecting them at all because they’ve lost me in being present in that decision . I can see how that’s selfish in itself.

Although I’ve been working on an offering I want to launch that will help women in survival or transition so I think the pivot has already begun and I’m now being totally honest about what I want for the future, my future.

Today I survived.

I am valuable.

Thank you both so much for this interview - it was right on time and a true gift. 💕🙏🏻

@KatieDiaz-c7m 1 year ago

Having been cheated on recently and many other times in my life, this was hard to listen to. But I do appreciate the honesty and lessons it shares.

@Heath_EastTexasDuctTape 1 year ago

Wow, this hit me hard. I was just about to eat dinner and got completely hooked. Mel, it was so powerful how you let Carl tell his story in such a raw, honest way. The message I took away is so important: no matter what's happened, you have to look in the mirror and start with yourself. Stop blaming others and take full ownership of your life. Truly inspiring.

@wangjing3517 1 year ago

I'm watching it crying.

I was completely shattered when finding my wife had an affair after 27 years of marriage. I realized that I made many horrible mistakes due to childhood trauma, which I had not known how to deal with it correctly.

I even tried to suicide. It was at the darkest period when God saved and called me. I could not resist Him anymore. I was baptised last September.

Even though I still have been struggling. I find that I have difficulty forgiving her. I realize that my trust in Jesus is so tiny and weak that I even can not forgive myself.

Mel and Carl, thank you for sharing this.

@lucyg7887 1 year ago

Thanks for sharing this with the world. It’s made me realize, people are more interested in your losses. I know what it’s like to change your mind and change your life, it is possible. Working on the “how are people meeting me” part of life now. Some people think I’m the old me and won’t let me live it down. That’s a them problem though.