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What to Do When You Think Your Partner is Lying

Crappy Childhood Fairy

18,748 views

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There are SOME people, some situations, that shut down your common sense. You can be going along doing pretty well, you’re seeing life clearly, you’re moving forward, your judgment is good. And then that ONE person comes along and it’s like they cast a spell on you. They make you crazy with weird signs that something’s not right. And instead of thinking clearly, your mind stops working, and you go into denial. Now I’m not a therapist, but I’m someone who’s recovered from getting into relationships with someone who was lying to me, and I help other people get clear and get OUT too. My letter today is from a woman I’ll call Evangeline, and she writes.

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20 Comments

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Creator 1 year ago Pinned

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@deez4evs 1 year ago

As a cptsd-er, it’s a red flag (for me) and uuuuber triggering when I have to fill in someone else’s blanks… we shouldn’t have to figure anything out. We shouldn’t be wracking our brains about someone else’s situation. That’s not our responsibility and that is what activates our trauma responses. And anytime i am triggered multiple times by someone im trying to date (whether it’s bc of me or because of them), that is a huuuuuge indication that that i am either not ready to date at all or I should not be dating that person. You deserve a peaceful and loving environment.

@kristirose2289 1 year ago

It’s troubling that he keeps making his behavior about her. I live with a covert narcissist so I know the damage they can do.

@reginabaldwin7543 1 year ago

This problem guy turns her reaction into the problem. That is a very pernitious form of manipulation and gaslighting. It's the "you can't handle the truth" defense.

@krishnamamtani8067 1 year ago

I was manipulated into thinking I had no right to the truth. And that I was creating problems for wanting clarification. 😣

@springBloomsinAwe 1 year ago

Not great person would say you are the only person who can understand me. That's manipulation. My opinion

@mixedlag 1 year ago

He seems sincere???
In what way?
I feel gaslit just from that being said. She's in denial if she thinks he's sincere. You can't be sincere if you're preoccupied with hiding things. And he's obviously hiding something.

Once they lie, it's pretty tough to trust them again. There's a quote something like:
"I'm not sad that you lied, I'm sad that I can't ever trust you again."

It's disgusting to tell someone you lied because you were afraid of their reaction. That's a form of scapegoating. "It's your fault that I act this way." Um...*no*. Just no.

And at the risk of being politically incorrect (which Idc about lol) a guy who has a past with s3cks workers is a deal breaker for me. Never know what he picked up from that. Number one priority is keeping myself safe and that includes in intimate relations, no matter what my feelings are for someone.

This is already a high stress relationship.

@MissRachel4180 1 year ago

This man seems to be gaslighting you ❤

@stellarhope6954 1 year ago

what a nightmare that woman got into

@katfayegarrett3872 1 year ago

This man sounds a lot like my brother. He was married but couldn't give up the drugs and swx workers. It ruined his life, which he ended up taking last year. I wish this woman the best.❤

@rockstarofredondo 1 year ago

This guy is not healthy enough to be in a relationship.

@Bas3b3erry 4 months ago

“That is one thing that is antithetial to long term relationship is hiding and lying. Especially at this early stage. This is a huge red flag.”

Great information and great way with words.

@octoberdawn1087 1 year ago (edited)

Are you reading my mind!?!?! Omg every video this week. Lordy!!!
sneaky behavior is lying. Thats SUCH a great way of wording it for when folks cant admit lies, they might admit sneaky behavior. Ive already experienced someone fessing up. Ugh its heartbreaking

@querida1809 1 year ago

Thanks, Anna,
She is a bit naive approaching this situation. It was red flag from the start. She and her friend are bounded by childhood traumas. She has known him for 16 years (superficially), but she truly does not know him. As a woman, she put herself in a vulnerable position and disregarded her own boundaries. And she wasn't ready for a relationship with him if you were suspicious of things he was doing. Before moving in with him, she should have had effective communication with him. Sometimes, it's better to remain and stay friends and not be romantic involved with each other. Some people are better off being just friends. This one is a tough one!! I guess she lost not only a friend but also a partner. I wish her the best.

@Mallowolf 1 year ago

Great read as always. I hope Evangeline listens to this. She’s not in a good situation at all.

@i-use-vim-btw 1 year ago

Urgh. This triggered me so much. I went through so much lying and hiding for 8 years. Finally seeing reality and so glad she's out of my life...

@michaelboulos3272 1 year ago

Moving in both someone after dating for 6 months? Bruh..

@ragga7862 1 year ago

This topic is so needed! Thank you.

@ragga7862 1 year ago

He might be hiding something from his past, OR he might be hiding something current.

@RoadRunnergarage8570 1 year ago

My past traumas and heartbreaks make it very difficult to let someone in.. on one hand letting a woman in that I feel that I truly trust would heal a lot.. but on the other hand I don't know if I could endure another heartbreak...