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5 Reasons People With CPTSD Struggle With Identity

Inspire and Thrive

37,655 views

Looking in the mirror and not recognizing the person staring back is a unique kind of pain. For many survivors of long-term trauma, the question 'Who am I?' isn't philosophical—it's a genuine, daily struggle.

This video gently explores the 5 core reasons why Complex PTSD (CPTSD) deeply impacts our sense of self. We'll uncover how a fractured childhood foundation, survival-driven chameleon-like behaviors, and a disconnect from our own emotions can leave us feeling lost. 🧠

This is a journey into understanding, not judgment. It’s about finding the path back to the person you were always meant to be. 🌱

#cptsd #mentalhealth #trauma #identity #healingjourney #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #ptsd #cptsdsigns

20 Comments

@MisterPsych 1 year ago

Am I the only one who feels like I’m constantly reinventing myself to feel safe, but it’s never really “me”?

@Zaddy-Lu 1 year ago

"A collection of reflexions of other people." Oooooh boy, I feel that in my soul!

@OmalineStargazer8484 1 year ago

“In survival mode there’s no room for identity.” That explains some of the deeper issues that I’ve noticed in myself. Realizing that survival isn’t a situation you can choose what happens to you. The environment that brought me so much anguish was something that left me in survival mode. Now I see it.

@jmas2312 1 year ago

What grabbed me is the question, have you you spent your whole life in survival mode? Well, um, yeah. I have. Now what? 🤷🏼‍♀️

@f34r0r 1 year ago

Such a hassle cause at some point in your life when you have cptsd all you want is to have an identity and be done with it but then you discover it's ego and you have to go all the way back into childhood, into the ugly stuff, to find your real self but then along the way you invevitably experience emotions you really didn't want to experience once again.

@justmemissE 1 year ago

"they only like the version of me I'm showing them. If they knew the real me, they'd leave." Whew.

@Ginuilf 1 year ago

"you are a survivor" Thank you for this. Watched this video two times, cried a little. Then took it all in. I want me to be proud of me.

@wesleycolvin7158 1 year ago (edited)

'Imposter Syndrome' definitely fits in here. Chaos is the only thing you feel like you genuinely thrive in.

@mamandapanda185 1 year ago (edited)

I fully support parentectomies. Sometimes the only way you can begin to heal is to go "no contact." Be forewarned that there are a TON of critics and even unintentional "flying monkeys" — especially the "Honor your father and mother" people. But, I think it's imperative to distance yourself from the person that formed your inner, Gollum-like, critic at least until you can train that freaking thing to not beat you up. And that is definitely a journey, on your own time.

@anniemac2088 1 year ago

This question has been constant in my 65 years. At 15 I remember asking my mother what I was like as a person. She was the absolutely the wrong person to ask. She tried to change me, told me what I was, and how to be. I am a truth teller, which was part of my core, but have paid the price by being ostracised and scapegoated. It was worth it. I have ADHD and Complex PTSD.

@katerobinson1123 1 year ago

'Your personality became a set of survival strategies'. Feeling defective at a cellular level. Crippling self-rejection. Identity a story I [used to] tell myself. Compliments and love that don't land. Overwhelming emotion and a cycle of destroying whatever I build up.

@fish_toes 3 months ago

Sometimes im like "Maybe I don't have c-ptsd" but I end up crying every time I read about it because it's so spot-on

@Hollowpoint762 1 year ago (edited)

The chameleon thing really resonates, the older I get the more tired of bothering with others even family, especially family, all it got me in the end was addiction now they're asking why I don't have kids yet so I told my father some family trees deserve pruning. Haven't heard from any of them for almost a year and half now. Not that I would have anyways with out making the effort. And honestly I feel better sometimes so thats enough for me these days.

@andreahoverson236 1 year ago

I could relate to everything in this video. I just discovered watching it that I have a fear of what if nobody likes the real me. Guess it's something to talk to my therapist about.

@rosskennebunk 1 year ago

I have never known who I am. I remember, ni my teenage years especially, standing in front of the mirror and starting into my eyes, trying to see anything in the darkness of my pupils. Hoping that maybe they eyes truly were the window to one's soul. I have spoken to therapists and psychiatrists until I was blue in the face, and it was not until finding this series of videos on CPTSD that I felt like SOMEONE gets it at least.

@dlander2026 11 months ago (edited)

I used my chaos to escape from the house with permission. My skills in all this allowed me to become a professional interpreter for the deaf with no training or certiification. I became a State employee with the Deaf School providing benefits I would never get elsewhere and freelance for extra cash flow. With a legal degree earned at 40 I was able to expand those skills. And as an adult I still use those skills developed through the uncertainties. Yes I learned to read and adapt in childhood but was blessed with those skills to provide myself a good secure future. Im now 64, retired and feeling safe.

@elien-h8q 1 year ago

Being 67, I still live in survival mode, more than ever. And now it's serious, the obstacles are not psychological, but real and life threatening. That's the cosequence of not fighting for my life. Or better say, fighting merely for survival, for not sinking under water. Yes, I survived, because I'm still alive. Little did I know who my enemies were.

@virtualemdr 1 year ago

such a crucial aspect of CPTSD, how trauma can distort our sense of self. The idea of not recognizing the person in the mirror is a powerful and painful truth for many survivors. It’s so important to understand that this struggle is not about being lost, but about healing and reconnecting with the true self that trauma tried to overshadow, understanding, not judgment, makes this journey toward identity restoration feel possible and hopeful.

@TortlandUK 10 months ago

Hits the nail right on the head.

@miki7899 11 months ago

This has really explained a lot of things to me. Been diagnosed with CPTSD and Bipolar disorder many years ago but not any therapist ive seen, which was several over the last 10 years, really understood what CPTSD is since its a new diagnosis that isnt in therapists books yet.