9/10 doctors say that you should only consume long in doses.

This Long is 17 hours 38 minutes and 56 seconds. If you want to take the advice of that one other doctor... then so be it. I shall attempt the same!

... It's good to be back o/ <3

Mauler invested more time into the game than ubisoft

I’m proud of Mauler for making his first YouTube short.

I usually listen to Mauler videos when i take my annual 19 hour drive to Florida, now I have a single Mauler video that could take me nearly the full way. Incredible.

Dear Mauler.
I am diagnosed with clinical depression. I find it hard to get excited or happy about almost anything. That being said.
I'm 2,5 hours into this video and for the first time in years I have LAUGHED MY ASS OFF. I legit had stomach ache at one point, my face cheek muscles started to hurt and my eyes started watering.
It's Christmas Eve right now.
And I thank you, good sir. I have forgotten how laughter felt. Thank you. So much.

For a game called “Star Wars Outlaws” not being able to start fights in the Mos Eisley Cantina is outrageous

Ask Mauler for "A penny for your thoughts" and you'll have to take out a mortgage

May the noble sacrifice of Rebel Hero, Jabba the Hutt, who kept his honorable secret to his very death, will never be forgotten.

Never let a narcissist write a "good person."

I don't care what they tell you in school, Jabba the Hutt is the hero of the rebellion

I imagine the boys had a field day when they learned that the developer's actual name is "Massive Entertainment"

Proof that Mauler has not abandoned his channel and will release a video every 10 years.

the power of one [hour] 🎶
the power of two [hours] 🎶
the power of many [hours] 🎶

Hearing Kay Ves give that cutesy "oh your message is breaking up" routine while brutally murdering the people she had formed a comradery with while their blood curdling screams of confusion and begging her to stop is unironically the most sickening thing I have ever seen in a Star Wars game.

Even games where you play as the Empire aren't that brutal.

Me when I'm desperately fleeing a madman while on the phone with 911 and they have to restart their dialogue sequence because I stumbled

Game: sends Death Troopers to kill you but 2 km away.
Player: "WTF? Fine."
Player: finally reach Death Troopers: "Have you come to destroy me?"

Timestamp for video
0:01 - Introduction to the game and initial reviews
1:39 - Critical review and initial gameplay issues
3:21 - Overall criticism of the game's quality
4:48 - Serious game breaking bugs and soft locks
5:22 - Game definition and development details
6:57 - Development team and cost of the game
8:09 - Video's purpose: cataloging game failures
10:06 - Story Setting and Era Choice Analysis
12:25 - Plot begins: Kay's escape from Cantobite
13:33 - Planet exploration and character writing
14:42 - Critique on writing and security logic
18:11 - Plot holes and inconsistencies in main mission
20:00 - Kay's crash landing and meeting the mechanic
20:47 - Dunker's exposition and quest design
22:42 - Crimson Dawn mission and convenient encounters
23:56 - Walker's betrayal and death
24:49 - Kay's miraculous escape and droid's intervention
25:51 - Crew recruitment on Tatooine
27:08 - Hoss's gambling and Nyx's capture
28:26 - Jabba's Palace and the Rancor pit ordeal
32:01 - Data theft and the team's evolution
33:32 - Kajjimi and recruiting Ang, the explosives expert
35:01 - Aka and recruiting Gadik, the droidsmith
36:01 - ND5 repair mission and contrived plot points
38:09 - Kay's mother joins the team and identity of Sero
39:29 - Team's motivation and the final heist
40:31 - Interaction with the security droid (again)
42:32 - Sero's confrontation and illogical actions
43:10 - Critique on plot convenience and lack of challenge
45:03 - Explosive entrance oversight
45:24 - Vale's betrayal and Sero's fate
46:11 - Final act: reveals and betrayals
47:51 - Jallen's true intentions and Kay's capture
48:10 - Rescue mission and stealth mechanics
49:17 - Jallen and Sero's brotherly conflict
50:42 - ND5's unexpected action
52:14 - Jallen's death and the rebellion's arrival
53:47 - Syndicate intervention and Jabba's role
56:59 - Rebel distress and Jabba's help
58:04 - Jabba's sacrifice and Leia's irony
58:51 - Aftermath and the Codeex's fate
1:01:11 - Character analysis: NPC behavior
1:02:04 - CEO character introduction and inconsistencies
1:03:46 - Critique on NPC motivations and logic
1:05:42 - Denyon's forgettable role
1:06:44 - Assara's non-apology
1:07:03 - Jallen as a predictable villain
1:09:01 - Director Sero: a flawed villain
1:11:48 - Sero's portrayal and his impact
1:12:26 - Other main characters and Gadik's role
1:13:54 - Gadik's character and Kay's indifference
01:14:48 - Kay Vess
02:30:05 - ND5
02:55:42 - Dialogue
04:07:14 - World
04:27:05 - Death Troopers
05:00:24 - Reputation
05:53:39 - Space
06:17:26 - Rails
06:47:10 - Agency
07:28:40 - Stealing
07:48:39 - Missions
08:02:34 - Vehicles, Ships and the Speeder
08:37:46 - Dead Eye
08:45:21 - Gunplay
09:03:45 - Melee
09:20:56 - Stealth
10:28:23 - Grenade Stealth
10:39:22 - Artificial "Intelligence"
11:30:32 - Movement/Platforming
12:03:00 - Ragdolls
12:06:48 - Level Design
12:20:58 - Wordle/Rhythm/Sabaac/Arcade/Racing
13:03:16 - Nix
13:35:36 - Graphics & Animations
14:01:06 - Music & Difficulty
14:06:26 - "Fan Service"
14:25:33 - Checkpoints, Saving, Freezing & Bugs
14:54:45 - Conclusion
15:32:29 - DLCs & Updates
16:03:06 - An Incestuous Industry
16:30:41 - The Switch 2 Port
16:37:51 - A World on Fire
16:43:30 - Sales & Consequences
17:03:07 - Before the Dawn

One more video before bed

Star Wars Outlaws gets released. Mauler: "The attempt on my life has left me scared and deformed... But I assure you my resolve has never been stronger!"

By now mauler has a 10gb folder labeled ‘clown music’