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I Was Recruited on Campus Into a Cult

Cults to Consciousness

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Sarah entered college with almost no religious background, hoping to find community and deepen her newfound Christian faith, only to be drawn into a highly controlling branch of Assemblies of God known as Chi Alpha at Murray State, a Christian Campus Ministry under longtime control of the leader Mark. According to Sarah, the ministry gradually isolated students from family, academics, extracurricular activities, and outside friendships while convincing them that unquestioning obedience was God's will. Members were expected to attend daily prayers, multiple weekly meetings, mission trips, and church services, while every major life decision—from choosing a college major to dating, marriage, and even visiting family—required Mark's approval.

Sarah describes how he used fear, guilt, surveillance, and claims of prophetic authority to maintain control, while dismissing concerns by insisting critics were simply attacking God's work. Sarah recounts the lasting emotional damage caused by Mark's manipulation after surviving SA away from campus, but was blamed, forced to deny it happened, and systematically isolated from her friends while others were instructed to spy on her. Things become a lot darker for Sarah when Mark finds out that she became pregnant from the ass*ult.

Watch our interview with Kathleen (former director of Chi Alpha): The Dark Truth Behind a Sinister Christian...

Link to the support group: https://xalionsden.com/forum?wtp=cate...

Chapter Marks

00:00:00 The Campus Ministry Everyone Said Wasn't a Cult
00:02:03 Growing Up Without Religion Made Her the Perfect Target
00:03:17 Sarah’s ChiIdhood
00:05:39 How Chi Alpha Recruited Vulnerable College Freshmen into Assemblies of God
00:08:05 What is Chi Alpha? Meeting the Leader Who Claimed to Hear from God
00:14:52 Why Survivors Stayed Silent for More Than a Decade
00:16:09 Every Minute of Our Lives Was Scheduled and Controlled / Demands Placed On Members
00:22:14 Why Sarah Stayed Even When She Knew Something Was Wrong
00:29:40 Inside the Secret Rules for Dating, Marriage, and Isolation / Living Situation
00:36:35 CW: Ass*ault / Purity Culture
00:37:28 Her Pastor Blamed her After She Was SA’ed
00:44:30 The Pregnancy That Became Another Tool of Control
00:47:17 Pregnancy
00:51:10 CW: CW: Abort*on — Sarah Was Told She Had a Devil Inside Her
00:54:40 The Trauma Was So Severe Sarah Lost Entire Memories
00:56:45 Aftermath
00:58:00 Why Survivors Don't "Just Leave"
01:02:39 Staying On Campus
01:03:30 The Moment She Finally Walked Away
01:06:48 CW: Su*cide
01:10:20 Deprogramming After Years of Spiritual Ab*se
01:13:06 What Brings Sarah Joy Now
01:16:30 Speaking Out So Other Students Don't Suffer in Silence
01:17:30 Linda, Listen
01:20:40 Finding Healing and Helping Other Survivors

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This podcast provides a platform for guests to share their personal experiences and opinions. The views expressed are solely those of the guest and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or producers. Any allegations discussed are unverified and represent personal accounts only. All individuals mentioned are presumed innocent unless proven otherwise. The podcast assumes no legal responsibility for statements made by guests.**

20 Comments

@sarah_hargis 3 months ago

Oh boy, I did NOT realize I had my eyes closed the whole time I was telling the story at the end. I was trying so hard not to cry, and wound up looking like a weirdo instead. Whoops!

Thank you for listening, everyone. It means a lot to finally speak up, and I hope that sharing my story helps others feel less alone! Just remember to trust your gut!!!

Thank you, Shelise, for creating a platform to share our stories! You are such a kind, thoughtful host and made the interview so much easier than I thought it would be!

@KatieFerence-o8q 3 months ago

I am a therapist and listening to cults to consciousness has also informed how I work with clients in a very positive way. Coming to clients with kindness and empowerment through deconstructing their journeys has helped so many clients find their path. Thank you to both of you for sharing your story, it takes incredible strength

@emilyfroemel7622 3 months ago

DO NOT give your life force to a dead man. At 16 I got hit by a car while on the walk sign crossing the street. I had a head injury the surgeons had never done, they fixed my head. They thought I would not live longer than 5 years. It is now 35 years later. I finished highschool, I finished a double major for a bachelor's degree. I was accepted into a masters for teaching special needs. I moved to Germany and married a German. We've had two children. I am passing the German test and becoming a dual citizen. The sky is the limit. Take your gifts and fly with them. Never give up! I was supposed to be dead 30 years ago. Life is complicated, and hard at times but it is good to be alive! I wish you many pleasurable life adventures!

@astrobloop 3 months ago

The abortion story is so horrific. I am so sorry you went through that. I can’t imagine how scary and violating it was. You should have had a choice.

@OK_OK-d3t 3 months ago

Anytime your leader claims to talk directly with GOD... RUN

@thehomeschoolinglibrarian 3 months ago

I think that it is important for people who are raising their children without religion to still talk to their children about religion. It is important for kids to learn that these groups are out there and they will go after people who don't know anything about these high control groups.

@CatherineHall-u4x 3 months ago

Wow. I would joke with my friends that Chi Alpha was the "campus cult" when I was in college due to how pushy they always were about getting people to join. Knowing there was truth to that statement breaks my heart. So sorry you had this experience and hope you continue to heal ❤️

@naptimeisnow 3 months ago

The counselors saying "just leave the group" is giving "you're depressed? Have you tried being happy instead?"

@Tarabutler2001 3 months ago

The level of control and manipulation is honestly so sad because having a sense of belonging is so core to humans and to have that manipulated and distorting their prospective on love, marriage and so much more, so happy Sarah is strong enough to talk about this ❤

@hollyherndon2971 3 months ago

Sarah, thank you for telling your story. I'm so sorry about what this sicko did to you. I fully support anyone's right to an abortion, but to me, that is integrated with fully supporting anyone's right to not have one. It should have been YOUR decision and no one else's. This is a horrible, horrible thing that they did to you. I am very surprised that no one at the clinic picked up on the signs that you were being controlled and abused.
Shelise, thank you for providing a forum and making people feel like they can tell these stories. It's really helpful to see the commonalities between different cults. These cults can be vastly different, but so many times, we hear the same strategies and methods of exerting control. It really reveals the red flags. Over and over again, we hear similar tactics. It's critical to understand them and to hear them on repeat.

@nikmorgan372 3 months ago

Sarah, your story was extremely moving for me as a fellow autistic person. My partner also fell into the grips of a cult as a young impressionable autistic man and I see a lot of parallels between his and your recounting of events. We are so used to feeling alone or othered and as a result we are more vulnerable to these forms of manipulation. I also wanted to say that it is never too late to find a life partner. My grandma didn’t meet and marry the love of her life until she was in her late 50’s and they have been married for over 20 years now. Thank so much for sharing and I wish you the best as you continue your healing journey.

@noctilucera7585 2 months ago

Autistic and other vulnerable people are so often targeted, it's frustrating.

I'm autistic too and I'd 100% have joined every cult that promised me friendship and a place to belong and structure.

Your story broke my heart multiple times. Just Devastating. I wish you the very best possible life going forward.

@gracegonzalez6825 3 months ago

My heart goes out to her for all she went through.

@emilymcglynn 3 months ago

I really really hope the school is being held accountable. Unbelievable behavior from a guy that sounds like he’s affiliated with the school? How were no other adults concerned about this situation

@private15 3 months ago

She is so strong to have move on and rebuild her life. She needs all the self love and affirmations so that she can reprogram the messages she repeats in her brain. You are a good person. You deserve to be happy. You deserve kindness and Love.

@VivaPinata26 3 months ago

Parents should always listen to their guts. Sarah’s dad knew it was trouble…I wish he had trusted that feeling and intervened.

@deedeekay357 3 months ago

"It's easy to beat ourselves up looking back with the wisdom we have now." Incredibly powerful statement. Thank you for sharing your story.

@Livelifewell777 3 months ago

This sounds exactly like Jehovah's Witnesses down to the T. The schedule, the not making friends outside of the religion. Telling everyone that if they did not join they would be destroyed. Oh how I hated going door to door.

@VivaPinata26 3 months ago

Sarah, my non-binary child is also autistic and I totally understand why you feared what you feared. But please listen to me: there are people who will not only tolerate your neurospiciness, they’ll love you for you - just the way you are. You are beautiful, smart, and have a great personality. You deserve a good partner and I truly believe you’ll find someone deserving of you. ❤

@miriamiri.mysteriesandfun 2 months ago

I’m sorry this happened to you! I’m also autistic. I grew up in a Pentecostal/Charismatic type of church and I’ve had some experiences that were cult like, and it was terrifying. I hope you’re able to continue to move past the challenges! Much love and support from one neurodivergent to another.