Three decades ago, right there on Oprah Winfrey’s own farm, Stedman Graham got down on one knee and proposed to her. He thought the next moment would bring a nod of acceptance, a ring slipped onto Oprah’s finger, and then a wedding date would be set. But instead of taking that step forward, Oprah flatly refused. And strangely enough, their love story did not end there. After that rejection, Stedman continued to quietly maintain certain deeply personal gestures for Oprah. Every Valentine’s Day, he writes cards as though they came from each of the dogs in their home, then prepares a separate bouquet of flowers just for Oprah.

To this day, Oprah and Stedman have still never walked through the door of marriage—and that very fact has led the public to speculate about whether they still truly live as a couple, as well as to make assumptions about Oprah’s relationship with her best friend, Gayle King.

At the age of 72, one of the most powerful women in American entertainment has finally broken her decades-long silence about the man who has stood by her side for most of her adult life. In a recent candid conversation with the public, she began to explain the real reason she has never married. And this is not simply a love story, but also the story of a childhood that shaped the way Oprah sees herself and relationships.