That voice memo is beyond triggering and reminds me of a past relationship where my ex pulled the same thing (in person) on the second date, after me explaining on the first date where I stand. What seemed well intentioned and like a boundary at the time led to the worst year of gradual dv and manipulation. If someone ever uses their “boundaries” as a way to assert their needs over yours, run.

Honestly he did her a huge favor by letting her walk away after 1 date completely confident she's not missing out on anything.

“I wouldn’t even treat a cashier that I see once on vacation the way some of you guys treat people that you get naked with.” is raw

The nicest thing I could say about this voice mail is that he was totally upfront about the fact that he will always put his own needs a head of hers and then gaslight her about how he’s doing it for the sake of honesty and enforcing his own boundaries.  He could not be waving the red flag more blatantly which allows her to not waste another second on him

He really exposed his character, and because of that, I’d actually appreciate the voice note. It would help me walk away and not waste my time.

7:39 him jumbling “hook up” and “cuddle” together here really perplexes me - as if those two things are anywhere near the same level when you know he would NOT be satisfied with cuddling and not hooking up.

"What would be the point of me coming over if we're not going to have sex" tells you EVERYTHING you need to know. I dated a guy who treated me like this, with that kind of language. When people tell you what they think of you, believe them.

Super creepy/weird message to send to someone after the first date, but upfront, and shows how pushy he is already and would be in the future.

I would absolutely block him after that. Even if I expected to get intimate on the second or third date, his entitlement, lack of communicating his true goals initially, and language would turn me off. Disgusting behavior, I hope his behavior was not rewarded.

he's also somehow acting like any compatibility they have is COMPLETELY up to him alone

I don’t think a voice memo has ever been less seductive

Speaking as a man this guy is a complete tool. Who thinks he’s hot shit. Framing that memo so that he is a “good guy” who is owed for being so honest and good.

He just wanted sex and didn’t feel like keeping up the act anymore. He literally said the sex was for him. “I need to have sex with you to know if I like you.” Which also makes me think he assumes she is already into him. It’s not even about finding out if they click sexually. Which is something you build over time in a relationship. It’s literally just what can you do for me.

"What's the point of hanging around you if we don't hook up?" When I escaped child sex trafficking I had to unlearn the mindset that my only purpose was for sexual use by others. This voice message would make me throw up and have nightmares. This guy doesn't see her as any sort of valuable person. Ew.

If this voice memo is an example of "healthy boundaries", then the bar truly is in hell.

What really stood out to me was the heavy emphasis on "I want to see whether IM sexually compatible with you", "For MY sake", as opposed to I want to see whether we are compatible, this is something I like, how does that work for you, how do you feel about that...

Wants to schedule in a "romantic spark"

All I heard was "me me me me" man just yapping about his needs.

The whole bit about how "he understands why she didn't want to on the first date" sounded so aggreived and passive aggressive to me

Guys claim to be turned off by women having a high “body count” but then pull crap like this.

He's absolutely weaponizing "honesty" as a manipulation tactic. That recording is craven and humiliating from start to finish, definitely something you play to your girlfriends in a "Can you believe this guy?" context. That recording sounds like a boy desperately hoping he can convince his teacher why he doesnt have his homework finished. Maybe it's because I'm gay and those dynamics can be very different, but it's crazy what men are like when they think they're communicating privately. And to that point there's a reason he wasn't upfront about this before or during the first date, and instead waited to say these things to his phone. He knows he can't present this ultimatum while looking into her face because there's nowhere for him to hide and it all falls to pieces under the weight of total absurdity.