Which of these 7 surprised you most and why?

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"God just wants me to be happy" is the equivalent of us telling God, "Not Thy will, but MY WILL be done."

Happy spouse; happy house. Your husband matters, too.

Yeah, I’ve done the “Happy wife” routine and it’s gotten me 3 years of rejection and celibacy.

"Happy wife, happy life" is toxic and emotional blackmail.  

It basically says if she isn't happy she will ensure no one else is, either.

So basically it should be :
Holy house = happy house

We live in a culture where everyone is looking to be happy. But God calls us to be holy. And he calls us to be one in Jesus , not , one by ourselves. Marriage and children are not easy, but nothing in life that is worth something is easy. Jesus tells us in the book of Matthew to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things we are chasing after we'll be added to us. That doesn't mean that we will become rich and prosperous and healthy if we follow Jesus. But our lives will be rich , not empty and broken.

My wife and I have always shared finances common checking and savings. When times are hard, we look at each other and one or the other will say, "well we'll just live on love". For us it means  trusting in God. It's worked for 44years.

An older couple once told me to replace happy wife happy life with Happy spouse Happy House.
And God does not want you happy he wants you holy

When my wife and I married she said if you write a check tell me and I will deduct it from our account.  I did and she would forget to deduct it and we would then get an over draft.  We ended up with separate accounts.  I transfered a set amount of money every check to her account.  She paid most of the bills.  We went grocery shopping together and I paid.  This worked for over 40 years.  Five years ago I lost her to cancer.  Yes we had some rough spots in that time but we worked everything out.  We had three kids over 20 years.  Kids were a great joy.

My parents were constantly "measuring up" rather than genuinely nurturing us kids into loving, family-oriented, Godly adults. Yes, Dad tried, but we all had to contend with our mother who was easily the most impossible, most difficult person I've ever met. Eventually, as empty nesters, Mom and Dad left the church and returned to the ways they were in their youth, going to bars, getting drunk and hanging out with the wrong people. I had to walk away, as there was no breaching the issue, confronting them in any way without being blackballed.

I often failed to lead my wife and kids the way I should have; but I am blessed with a truly loving, family-oriented, Godly wife. Her love is my rest.

What I find really shocking is that most “christian” talks about marriage automatically assume that both people in the marriage are sane people, ever steady Christians.  They forget that sometimes, at least one of them is secretly not even a willing believer at all, whom the other party is now left “babysitting” in pain e.g. if you are not good at managing finance, salvation doesn’t change that, you have to be willing to learn.

My marriage is in Serious trouble.
Anyone that will please pray for God's Will. He knows the whole situation.
Thank You

My first wife left our 22 year marriage for that exact excuse, we had been Christians for most of our entire marriage, we had a very good life, good jobs, good salaries, we had children and grandchildren. At that time I loved her with all my heart and everyone thought we had the perfect marriage. All of our beliefs were the same, we liked all the same things, we never argued about anything, our kids thought we were happy, everything was good, but, what I found out later after the fact was that she was getting a lot of attention from the opposite sex and from the wrong kinds of people, and she fell right into it. And another thing that was so disappointing was that there were other Christian women giving her ungodly advice and feeding her way of thinking and her ego. So she ended up having two affairs on me that I know about. One of them I found out about while we were still married and I thought that we worked through that and she promised that we did. Then it happened again and I had finally had enough. So that “God just wants me to be happy is a lie straight out of Hell”.
I have since found a absolutely wonderful beautiful woman, we’ve been married 17 years and they have been the happiest years of my life, everything not perfect, I think I would be scared if it was because that’s what I thought I had in my first marriage and you see what so called perfection gets you!

Our money, our surname, our children, our responsibilities, our commitment, our alignment with honouring Jesus.

Imagine knowing and following all these things and still being betrayed and abandoned. Never cheated, never abused, never hid money, never forgot a birthday or anniversary, helped with everything, worked 70 hours a week....all to no avail. I've now lived for eighteen years in a rundown barn with no prospects.

Some people have no impulse control. If i didnt have a separate bank account from my first wife, we would have lost the house because she would spend till there was nothing left to spend. We would have missed house payments.

"I go to bed every night counting my blessings..."
Bless you sister!

Shared accounts sound great, until you have a spouse who constantly over spends. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. The accounts will become joined when the overspending spouse yield’s to correction.

My ex-wife had no concept of money. We had one bank account and she always over spent. I’m doing so much better with knowing that my finances are getting more stable. I’m never letting a woman have control over the finances again.