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Is Lilly from THE PRINCESS DIARIES a Toxic Friend?

Cinema Therapy

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Is Lilly a toxic person or just a bad friend?

Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright react to Lilly from The Princess Diaries and question whether her friendship with Mia is toxic or not. In this series, they investigate if movie relationships claimed to be toxic really are and what “toxic” actually means. Strap in for some ranting!

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Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker, and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright, Alan Seawright, and Corinne Demyanovich
Edited by: Nathan Judd
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English Transcription by: Anna Preis
Theme music by: Caleb Blood

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20 Comments

@CinemaTherapyShow Creator 4 months ago Pinned

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@JackieChan-u7h 3 months ago

“Am I right?”
“No.”

Thank you Michael. Thank you for your existence.

@dutchtulips 3 months ago

lilly hates the "A-crowd" but lilly behaves just like them, she treats other people like dirt because she's insecure. she needs mia to be "beneath" her. a lot of teenage friendships are like this, unfortunately.

@mrsleovaldez6474 3 months ago

Lilly is one of the reasons I like the second movie more than the first, because once she graduates, she actually a great friend to Mia and is very supportive! I cannot stand her in the first movie

@Jemini4228 3 months ago

I think a major problem in their friendship was Lily clearly thought of herself as the main character and Mia as an affable sidekick. Then something happens to Mia to shift that dynamic and put her in the spotlight and Lily reacts badly. Even pre Princess though she was so thoughtless and bitter. The Dad comment was so beyond the pale. Yes Mia didn't really have much of a relationship with him but she may have been regretting what might have been. 2 months is not long at all and to have that kind of timeline for grief is insane. Glad she grew out of it by the time they were in their twenties.

@yb9964 3 months ago (edited)

The answer is yes. But I think a lot of girls were Lilly in their teens and won’t really admit to it. We’ve all been Lilly at some point, even if it’s not in the same exact way and even if it’s for a second. Think of all the people you’ve met, the odds are someone thinks you’re a Lilly. Teen years are a scary time for young people’s personalities and they go hard in the direction of whatever they think is the best for them, wether that means it’ll make them cool or edgy or confident. They’re looking for a leg to stand on and sometimes they don’t realise that leg is on someone’s neck. I’m glad they made her evolve in the second movie !

@senpaijecho 3 months ago

7:30 This scene strikes me as Lilly internalizing the idea that she (and Mia, by extension) was unattractive, to the point that it became part of her identity. And she embraced it as a coping mechanism because, in her mind, she would never achieve that level of attractiveness, so she would rather say she didn't want to be like those preppy girls at school, because it hurt less than admitting that she would never achieve it. So, when Mia and her glow-up proved Lilly wrong, she felt the need to hurt Mia and diminish her to feel better about herself

@Nargon46 3 months ago

I watched this movie with my two young nieces and I was so relieved and proud when they both called Lily out for being a horrible friend to Mia. Their parents raised em right

@JoshyMoshy335 3 months ago (edited)

"You're not mad enough about the things I'm mad about."
"Welcome to twitter."
What a truth nuke

@KasaiRayquaza 3 months ago (edited)

With the first scene, I also feel it's necessary to point out that Lilly CUTS MIA OFF to point out that she spots two jerks kissing. I feel like that's what pushes it from obnoxious to toxic; she wasn't hearing out her friend in a time of personal crisis and interrupts her, just because two "jerks" were kissing in her line of sight.

@DivinePearl 3 months ago

Lilly is the "mean girl" trope of the unpopular crowd.

@trinaq 3 months ago

I always agreed that Lilly telling Mia that she should be "over" her father's death after two months was an insensitive thing to say, even for a teenager. While Mia didn't even know her dad well, unlike the books, where he's very much alive, two months is still early in the grieving process, and everyone deals with it differently. Even Lana wouldn't stoop that low.

@alisonbarlow7836 3 months ago

I forgot Lilly said "it's been two months since your dad died" shut the hell up, I lost my dad and you DO NOT get over it in two momths. It stays with you.

@thefoxandthelynx 3 months ago

Lilly was bitter knowing her friend was blossoming and she will inevitably be socially left behind.

@SunshineAndRainclouds 3 months ago

It’s honestly so vindicating to see Lilly getting called out… even if she’s a fictional character and I’m a 35 year old woman 😂

@patriciametz3364 3 months ago

Lilly is that friend that you are afraid to let go of because you think would be alone without them.

@cristalp1458 3 months ago

No, Mia was not supposed to fall on the bleachers. That was a slip and all of the reactions were natural.

@trinaq 3 months ago

Lilly IS a toxic friend, but she's also rather realistic to teenage girls of that age. I always got the feeling that she was using Mia as a crutch, since she didn't appear to be close to anyone else, except possibly Jeremiah. But thankfully, she mellows out by the end, and is supportive of Mia by the sequel.